.:my legacy:.

.:obama or mccain:.

2008-10-29T05:56:00.000-07:00

america's imminent presidential elections decidedly encompasses much more than exalting obama or mccain into the redoubtable ranks of presidency. The global financial pandemonium that continues to prostrate economies in turbulence and even the unceasing war on obliterating terrorism from the face of existence have significantly contributed to the widespread anticipation for a successor to george bush who will valiantly raise a floundering america in flummox from the ashes that it had almost certainly landed itself in.this man must be efficacious at navigating the world's largest economy through the financial bedlam that george bush had indirectly orchestrated, besides recognising that confronting violence with violence will only exacerbate terrorism.some emerging economies,particularly china,have thrown the gauntlet down at america with their breakneck expansion that threaten to overthrow the world supremacy,a status that was duly bestowed by history and once seemed impenetrable,yet now battered and debilitated.nevertheless,america's bearing in the world has continue to be of paramount importance and more pertinent than ever,the man who ascends the throne in november 2 will have much to prove in restoring america's grandeur and reinstating her reputation, failure which will relegate the once infallible land into the pages of history.

.:praying for time:.

2008-07-24T05:51:00.000-07:00

now we all know why she's the idol among the american idols.

.:lawrence the imbecile:.

2008-07-08T06:13:00.000-07:00

i was forced to abandon my reticence today and engage in a titillating conversation with a biliously imbecile lout by the gawkish moniker of lawrence who owns the dubious 'universal tuition agency'.the modus operandi of this bovine swine's syndicate that seemingly employs as many filippinos as the number of locusts that can inundate the wheat fields in australia?pilfer money from the tutors it employs.
here's a snippet of our orgasmic conversation.

abra: yes,u called?ive received five missed calls from u.
lawrence: ohh yea,i did.so what're u returning my call for?
abra: well,u gave me five missed calls,so im returning your call right now.
lawrence: and why are u returning my call?
abra: cuz im being polite, quite unlike someone,u see.
.
.
.
.
.
abra: nahh.why don't u apologise to me first for threatening to forefeit my pay before i'll apologise to u.
lawrence: no no.since when did i threaten u?i don't remember threatening u.
abra: jesus christ, the number of senile people in singapore's increasing.

on hindsight,the doeful boar was so defenceless against my verbal onslaught,he had to resort to reverse psychological tactics to,albeit futilely,resist my inexorable attacks.shameless slut.

dont ever acquaint yourselves with this poor excuse for living,yea?
avoid anyone calling from 68971633 or 96786373 like u would elude a plague.

.:randomness:.

2008-06-28T01:39:00.000-07:00

apologies for my protracted absence.
havent really encountered any endocrinal incidents worthy of advertorial space on my blog,hence the interminable hiatus.furthermore,ive never been the tawdry fella who blogs frivolously.tskk.
anyhow,ive finally extricated myself from the dumbfounding heuristics of aquatics after almost twenty years,although ive been plagued by the disconcerting suspicion that i swim as gracefully as a bull in a china shop.
unsurprisingly,im still relentlessly being accosted,whether in camp or at public swimming pools.are there repellents for barricading perverse uncles who have facial complexions incredulously resembling the himalayans that are screaming trebly for botox to banish the crows' feet from me being sold commercially?
and unless uve been hibernating under a massive iceberg like snow frogs,u shouldve known by now that two servicemen met their demise during the course of their mandatory military training.some bovine fellas have ohh-so-righteously exclaimed that it is the onus of all guys to improve their physical fitness prior to their stint of martyrdom.these intellectually feeble louts are severely myopic to the fact that the culprit in such misfortunes is more often than not congenital heart defects or conditions that cannot be remedied by wearing out the treadmill.a greater cause for concern would be the clandestine manner in which these cases are being handled.the veil of covertness behind the genuine cause of these deaths is rather disquieting,besides the lack of public accountability of this field.
till then.

.:knowledge vs wisdom:.

2008-04-10T00:19:00.000-07:00

the unsettling revelation about how sufiah yusoff,the oxford mathematical phenomenon who was to deport herself from the scintillating future that beckoned to a derogatory life of physical exploitation as a means of achieving financial security has surely sent tremors of consternation quaking through the world.her claims of having been subjected to physical abuse and emotional maltreatment as a child,a consequence of her father's nauseating zeal at producing the next einstein,are creditable,but nonetheless do not justify her disillusioned acts of self-relegation which she dismissed perfunctorily.
this classic instance of how 'hothousing',which's defined as an astringent and rigorous mode of education (i cant emphasize how understated this is),bears an uncanny resemblance to singaporean parents' obsession with hustling and bustling their children into the gifted education programme,or securing an anchored place amongst the formidable cream of the crop for that matter.as much as i would like to allude such an unhealthy preoccupation to these parents' fervent hope of success for their children,it is a salient fact that these parents,many or not and consciously or not,are the arbitrators of this relentless paperchase where their children have become their means of basking to an end of glory.
the latter may possess venerated knowledge and redoubtable academic results at the most tender of ages,but surely we have forgotten that einstein was affectionately labelled a retard as a child whose subsequent prodigious achievements are still unequalled.
the difference between knowledge and wisdom is a selfishly marginal one.knowledge is acquired,but wisdom is inherent.
the shichida method aint gonna mould anyone into einstein's reincarnation.

.:diabolical cyst:.

2008-04-09T06:21:00.000-07:00

the diabolical sebaceous cyst that perversely flourished on my voluptuous posterior has finally been subjugated and extradited to purgatory,at least i thought.so i was inordinately mortified upon the vile concession that crimson blood percolating from the wound had inundated the dressing and stained my white bermudas a disquieting maroon at the most disconcerting spot.
im really thrilled.

2008-02-28T19:36:00.000-08:00

brace yourselves for the assailment of my chariot of updates.

chinese new year this year was,expectedly,lackadaisical.the flatulent display of whimsical patronisation was essentially necessary in pilferin red packets from financially commodious visitors.muahahaha.

valentine's day was spent dining at brazil churrascaria along sixth avenue.the palatable selection of gastronomically gratifyin meats,which included some surreptiously palatable ones like skewered chicken hearts,and luxuriant salads made this palatial buffet highly unsuitable for those who're gastroentrologically languid.check it out,folks:) http://brazilfranchise.biz/Index.html

the skyline around harbourfront,mount faber and sentosa was visually arrestin,as i witnessed with bated breath in the cable car,though i wasn't sure if my bronchial congestion was,for a larger part,consequential of my trepidation of makin headlines for plungin into opulent forestry and darkness in a cable car catastrophe.

the excursion to night safari was indelible for the sheer fact that it was ocularly debilitatin,havin to contort your optical nerves and muscles to catch a faint,even fleetin,glimpse of the resident creatures.this was,however,richly remunerated by the sporadic opportunity i had of hearin a real lion's roar.the magnificent and revered monarch bellowed a detonative roar that reveberated throughout the safari,leavin little for us to ponder why it was destined to reign.

2008-02-04T22:49:00.000-08:00

taiwanese celebrities really have a debilitative sense of humour.
those recreants were sure intrepid in their onslaught of singaporeans' supposed atrocious articulation on a taiwanese variety show where their causticity was ostentatious.
herein lies the unfathomable irony,since those intellectually challenged beings more often than not uncannily sound like they were conceived with convoluted vocal chords and inflamed gums that severely impaired their fundamental ability to converse intelligently,or even like crows in an asphyxiating fit of asthmatic bronchial spasms.
my dearrs,they really epitomised how the obsolete pot called the chichi pot black.

2008-02-01T06:02:00.000-08:00

my ubiquitously insipid and excruciatingly mundane train journeys home have always been emotionally remunerative spent by moonlightin as a clandestined fashion police who furtively analyses the threads of commuters and mentally arrests those who dress as repugnantly well as bjork while in my veracious ipod's companionship.
while incarceratin more commuters who suspiciously seemed like they inherited fashion tips from big bird one day,a particular figure wrestled my attention away from these fashionably-impaired beings.
he was an anaemic boy slumped against the train partition,apathetic and torpid while his muslim head dress perched precariously on his head,his leaden eyelids meanwhile engaged in a agonising battle with overwhelming fatigue.
heartrendin sight,but more resoundin are questions about whether our education system,in all its impetuosity of churning out einstein potboilers,has bludgeoned our ascendants' childhood and galvanised the inherent value of education.
i wouldnt wanna have been conceived anytime later.imagine a generation of children who can effortlessly perform gauss' theorem at the tender age of five.

.:her prerogative:.

2008-01-15T22:14:00.000-08:00

the redoubtable paparazzi is really an intimadatin force to be reckoned with,with how it proliferates from its sullied reputation of brazenly enroachin on the privacy of its victims and propagates from contemptible adulations of it blusterin information outta proportion.this,unfortunately,is compounded by the insatiable voracity for such frivolous information by gossipmongers,an epidemic by itself that continues to plague our revered civilisation.
britney spears mush have committed the most abominable of crimes in her past life to have been reincarnated into a dartboard assailed with malevolent condemnations and nefarious criticisms as frequent as i blink.
adipose tissues and cellulite may have colonised her waist and render her neither emaciated like keira knightly nor svelte like jennifer lopez;her latest album may not have vaulted up billboard to immortality;her state of mental distress has convoluted her ability to behave prudently and decide impartially.but surely there is no absolute necessity in publishin such information to the most miniscule of details for her detractors to baulk at,much less exploit her current state of mental dilapidation via an invitation to open the american music awards with much aplomb for the flagrant and abhorrent purpose of ricochetin their fortunes.blatant despicability.
britney's life is her prerogative,excuse me.

.:he or she:.

2008-01-01T07:04:00.000-08:00

the articles in times magazines,albeit not repulsively palaverous that's starkly reminiscent of the economist,more often than not emanate an asphyxiating prosaicness that's highly adroit at percolatin ur unsuspectin minds before anaestheticising it,but an impressionable article published in a recent issue transcended this mediocrity.this article understatedly vociferated the heartwrendin anguish of transvetites who've colonised a geographically obscure town in india,relegated to wretched objects of ridicule and ostracisation owing to their ambiguous gender and servile trade.what affected me was their steadfast pursuit of that elusive dignity that all beings should deservedly possess yet have been guilefully seized from them,nevermind the grosteque images conjured up by the supposed prevalence of self-castration that's a disquetin consequence of poverty.the disconsolatin truth behind their ceaseless struggle for a fundamental intangible called pride raises questions on how the astoundin intellectual development of us humans has handicapped our ability to make even fairly rational judgements of others.

.:fascination:.

2007-12-26T12:26:00.000-08:00

mother nature threw down the gauntlet at the most ghoulish of hours this mornin when she brandished her pis aller after failin to prematurely cease my indulgence in my revered obsession of sleepin with someone's sonorous sleepin grunts:she exhausted all my means of defence when she threatened to flood the river banks if i didnt answer her desperate calls.
after being enslaved by her to quench the insatiable thirst of the toilet bowl,i lumbered back to office like a bear in a drunken stupor and was ready to hibernate again when i witnessed another being gesticulatin and blabberin incongruously while asleep.
at least i was fascinated.

.:jingle bell jingle bell:.

2007-12-25T19:49:00.000-08:00

the gargantuan sphere of torrid flames,affectionately known as the sun,has finally regained consciousness after conceding utter defeat when assailed by the interminable streams of water that bombarded everything in its path with unforgivin aggression the past week.
never mind the inconvenience caused when the floodgates of heaven were opened at the most unpropitious of times,where my immaculate hairdo and fresh clothes were left none the worse by the profusion of water pellets that colonised earth.
at least mr sun wrestled its relinquished position as sovereign ruler of the hemisphere back from mr rain last saturday,so us bunk one-ers could have a beach revelry at sentosa.hehh.
nehnehh just convinced that im uncannily resemblin a hunk right now after havin been gymmin religiously,conspicuously jealous that i was commandin more attention when i was shirtless on the beach.inferiority complex,i understand.hahahaha X)
i miss the bunk one days:(
the essence of camwhorin was in full ostentation when i caught up with fiona and desmond on christmas eve.adorin the camera lens' inherent in photogenic souls,so stop blamin me.hahaha:)
and mr phang zhiyuan,i havent forgotten how i was frostily denied entry into mos by the phlegmatic bouncer.tskk.haha.
caught the warlords last night.takeshi's actin has improved so drastically,even i was impressed and affected.and andy lau proved his golden horse wins for best actor werent a result of incessant prayers or a severely myopic panel of judges.fantastic movie.
topman skinny jeans from gerald,
tequila shot glass from zhiyuan,
froggy mug from staff clare
handphone from mummy.
wheee!:)

.:whenever u remember:.

2007-12-17T01:44:00.000-08:00

When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
And know that through the good and through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And no they won't forget

[Chorus]
Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believe that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

When you think back on all we've done
I hope you're proud
When you look back and see how far we've come
It was our time to shine
And nobody could hold us down
They thought they'd see us fall
But we, we stood so tall
And no we won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believe that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

.:all or nothin:.

2007-12-15T06:14:00.000-08:00

time sauntered sluggishly today,seemingly aware of the substantial weight of emotions that i was shoulderin.
somehow,ive pretty much ironed out my creased thoughts,at least for the moment.
love is selfish.monogamy's an archaic rule,but its dedicated reign over governance of the principles of love will never cease,sustainin the enshrinin of love.and,a definin characteristic of love would be both parties makin a conscious effort to nourish the mutual passion they possessed for each other regardless of circumstances,and not take it for granted that it will propagate with time.

i know when this's been on ur mind,
that distant look is in ur eyes,
i thought it's time u realise it's over,over.
it's not the way i choose to be,
but somethin somewhere's gotta give
a share in this rltnship gets older,older

u know i'd fight for u,
but how can i fight someone who isnt even there?
ive had the rest of u,now i want the best of u
i dont care if that's not fair.

there are times it seems to me,
im sharin u with memories,
i feel it in my heart but i dont show it,show it.
then there's time u look at me,
as though im all that u can see,
those times i dont believe it's right,i know it,know it.

cuz i want it all,
or nothin at all,
there's nowhere left to fall,
when u reach the bottom,
it's now or never.
is it all,
or are we just friends,
is this how it ends,
with a simple telephone call,
u leave me here,
with nothin at all.

cuz u and i,
could lose it all if uve got no more room,
nowhere inside for me in ur life.

.:rhapsody of love:.

2007-12-14T06:17:00.000-08:00

someone remarked that im a complicated character,by which he meant that im a gallery of profound thoughts and a museum of abstract feelings.unfortunately,these two shrines of mine are heavily defended by my impregnable mental fortress,of which only a meagre few have managed to perpetrate.
sometimes,even i manage to get lost in my own communion of what my mind conceives and what my heart perceives.

honestly,im always rather apprehensive about our impromptu appointments since my suggestions on where to go and what to do arent usually a delight to ur palate.the evident frustration that foreshadowed ur reluctance at decidin to catch 'the warlords' today was somehow intimidatin and taunted me into silence when i had wanted to earnestly tell u that even the most humdrum of time can be the most endearin with u by my side.
cuz every moment we spend together is even better than the moments before,
and if everyday was as good as today was,
then i cant wait till tmr comes.

was initially suspicious of the recipient of the red paper bag,which i really shouldnt have.was initially skeptical of ur appreciation of my assistance,which i really shouldnt have too:a box of my favourite pineapple tarts and an affectionate massage of my shoulders were the answers to my presumptuous questions.
all u have to do is close ur eyes and just reach out ur hands and touch me,
hold me close,dont ever let me go

waited patiently for ur reply to my message,as i intently contemplated the validity of the cliche 'outta sight,outta mind' while peerin blearily outta the unpolished train windows.
an empty street,
an empty house,
a hole inside my heart.
im all alone,
the rooms are gettin smaller.

instigated by my antagonistic schizophrenic to launch a mental battle with ur fallacious perception of love,which's tantamount to u still being emotionally stalked by ur unpleasant past yet livin in denial.
so now i come to u with open arms,
wantin to hide,
believe what i say.
so here i am with open arms,
hopin u'll see what ur love means to me,
open arms.

lastly,have i ever told u
from the first day that i saw the smile in ur face,
honey,i knew that we would be
together forever.

.:subsidiary:.

2007-12-12T05:37:00.000-08:00

this entry should deservedly effuse happiness and excitement,and it takes those souls who're most deficient in cranal juices to not comprehend why,especially after what was a memorable trip to malacca.
regretfully,the initial enthusiasm i had has dissipated,leaving behind a searing heat that's grilling me relentlessly and savagely ever since i,both intentionally and otherwise,stumbled upon his blog.
i'll be relegatin myself to the humiliatin caste of a morally awry being by passing such derogatory remarks that're diffusin such causticity,but my pandora's box of emotions has been brusquely pried open.
i just cant fathom how such an ostensibly frivolous gallivant can even successfully trespass the sacramental realms of the most intricate and unadulterated expression called love,when the fundamental element of unprofanity in love has been severely compromised by his glarin flippancy.

g says:
hmmm y u wish u nv saw my profile

if being lost means never knowing how it feels without u says:
then i wouldnt have seen his blog
and i wont be doused in uncertainty and misery over being a subsidiary in ur relationship.

im clearly chewin on dreadfully sour grapes,as much as i know im essentially an unwelcomed intruder in ur sacromatic relationship which im starkly reminded of by the most innocent of gestures such as u sendin him a text message,which's frighteningly sufficient at wearin down my resistance to such vulnerability.

a relationship isnt defined by one serpentine party(him) extortin copious amounts of ur time and presence by passin some whimsical pretext.and the genuity of a relationship that's built on an overwhelmin feelin of indebtedness is highly questionable.

the love that i have,
do u not see it,or do u not want it?

.:u'll never walk alone:.

2007-12-08T06:26:00.000-08:00

misfortunes have their lives and their limits,their sickness and their duration.
and what doesnt kill u makes u stronger,yes?

one of my commanders asked me one of the most eccentric of questions a couple of days back.after subjectin me to a rather intense visual scrutiny durin which my dignity as an indigenous member of the male species was malevolently violated,he asked if i work as a model.i graciously accepted that as a compliment,of course,notwithstanding the awkwardness that swathed me in this compromisin situation.

the commendable,albeit not outstandin,performance of the stellar cast of the golden compass was surely the savin grace of what would otherwise have been a rather lacklustre movie,content and action wise,despite havin been released with aplomb admidst much hype.still,the effortlessly glamorous nicole kidman will make ur penny worth,really.haha.

curses*my trip to malacca's disrupted.danggggg.

.:whenever u remember:.

2007-12-02T00:34:00.000-08:00

faith has always been the most allegiant of companions,and was surely a source of sustenance through what has been a rather violently undulatin week.
thankfully,misfortunes have their life and their limits,their sickness and their duration,yes?
survivor instincts have always been inherent in us humans.
just takes that definitive moment to ignite our innate strength to boundless limits.

shrugs*
investin too much feelings in someone prematurely has always been one of my mortal achilles' heels.
and human nature,at its unscrupulous best,decrees us to abscond with the feelings of such vulnerable people huhh.
im sure ive given my best,though it's been marred by imperfections.
question is,have u?

.:actors of our own show:.

2007-11-27T06:48:00.000-08:00

another emotionally charged day overflowin with my interminable tirade about my lacklustre day.
humans have always been innately pretentious:those disillusioned nesiences who blindly dismiss the profound truth that life's a play are meagre excuses for existin.
our dire necessity to garner respect unconsciously dictates that we,sometimes even under the most excruciatin of circumstances,maintain an infallible image.
why vehemently suppress our most heartfelt emotions when it's precisely this one definitive trait of being able to indulge in and relate to the most complex of our intangible emotions that grades us as the superior species?
if smotherin my emotions which are perpetually screamin shrilly yet inaudibly to be heard's a crime,then i'm regretfully guilty.
four rather agonisin months have passed since ive been inducted,but ive yet to be immuned against the sheer dread that the crack of every new dawn lavishes on me.
ive been sustainin my poised image throughout,but even that's an emotional drain.
enough is enough.

.:ohh,happy day:.

2007-11-25T01:16:00.000-08:00

ohh yeahrr,wenxuan's surprised me with her maturity once again.
that said,we've reached a consensus.
the meagre amount of time we have on the face of this earth that's slowly but surely succumbin to the onslaught of pollution certainly justifies our nonchalance towards others who're tryin to make a profitable career outta makin derogatory remarks about others.
and,im sorry about my volatile moods the past couple of days.
hopefully,ull be the unfortunate but obliged one who'll bear the brunt of my ventin and rantin in future?haha:)
ohh,i made the most amzin discovery today!

.:stronger than yesterday:.

2007-11-25T00:06:00.000-08:00

it's become appallingly apparent that my back injuries are unintentionally makin me the target of much ostracisation and hatred in camp.
i'll readily admit ive accumulated an eviable amount of medical leaves from camp,compounded by the seemingly suspicious number of times ive booked out for medical appointments.
but if all u imbeciles think havin a sustained backache's exhilaratin,then ure probably the unfortunate product of two god-forsaken beings.woe betide.
i aint gonna wallow in misery over the sickening prejudism and cordial dislike that u all have swathed me in,hell no.
if makin me the subject of all ur malice bequeathes u all a humiliatingly cheap sense of thrill,then i'll gladly be the dartboard.
bring it on,honey.
it takes more than what u're all worth to expunge my dignity.
snide remarks like 'u dont even know this?!',they only inflict an insignificant itch.
im ingenuously sorry they dont abrade my self worth.
u can be effulgently adapt at ur work,but being possessin such a contemtuously conceited behavious and equally disdainful attitude only demean urselves,hotshots.
cant take my sardonicism?sorry,u got the ball rollin.

.:moi birthday:.

2007-11-10T21:03:00.000-08:00

abraham's officially nineteen:)
and his birthday celebrations surely lived up to the grandeur of his being,of course,abraham,urs truly.
in more simplistic terms for ur mundane minds,it was tres magnifique~ :)
zhiyuan and i really made our presence compellingly felt when us two stunnigly gorgeous things capable of sendin juz about anyone into convulsions with the flutter of our eyelids turned up at black angus with an oreomisu cake for shell.juz to sidetrack,the oreos that were strategically placed on the immaculate cake were either really poor imitations or manufactured in the most populous country in the world (u know,the country where the best athletes will congregate next year for the most prestigious sportin event next year),both of which dont really make a heck of a difference.anyway,dinner was commendably good,thought the salmon fish needed dabs of moisturiser to improve its rather dry and flaky texture.and,the planets were most probably in the most inauspicious of alignments yesterday,cuz i was a total crackpot with my weapons of mass destruction,namely mischief and humour,ignited.not to mention,i embarrassingly dropped whipped potato into my glass of water.damn.
pubbin session at indochine wisma was funtastic,of course.cynthia the chick,never ready to relinquish her role of party hen,never looked so svelte before.haha.and,coney island tea's the lost twin of long island tea.u gotta be born with a tongue embedded with sensors to detect the subtle difference,really.
well,i left indochine rather abruptly on a classified mission,where xavier picked me up from town and whisked me off at breakneck speed on the deserted highways at that unearthly hour towards our iconic changi airport for a classfied mission.and,knowin david's inherently keen about adrenaline rushes,i gladly took him along.haha!
:)

.:livin to love you:.

2007-11-09T18:50:00.000-08:00

fantastic song,flawless performance by sarah connor.

.:my mummy's birthday:.

2007-11-09T10:58:00.002-08:00

belated or not,i still wanna declare.
juz fertilely imagine it's 071107 today.
ohh.didnt realise the date's so auspicious.
happyy birthdayy mummyy!
lovin u for the nineteenth year,or at least soon,as ur son!
shoppin this sunday!
yayy!

.:my mummy's birthday:.

2007-11-09T10:58:00.001-08:00

.:bitchin,rantin,clappin:.

2007-11-09T10:05:00.000-08:00

'harrowin' barely encapsulates how literally breathtakin my day has been.
i wrestled back from the realms of death umpteen times when the successive network problems induced an overdose of adrenaline production compounded by multiple cardiac arrests.
and,all the bad karma i'd accumulate's finally purged out after being the honoured one to perform duty with his highness goh hong seng.
horror of horrors.
he brazenly thought my warnings about not comin even within a hair's breadth of my msn conversations and friendster account,besides other private information,were either for naught or some casual lip service.
and so,he had the greatest misfortune of experiencin the catastrophic damage i can inflict with juz the crackin of my tongue and smackin of my lips.he'd probably have at least a pinch of his exiguous dignity left if he'd ask him domestic helper to take his place in the battlefield,since she most probably showers him at home as well.
ohh dearr.did i juz make an ostentatious revelation?
at least i refrained from spittin at the three stripes he wagered at me most menacingly and made me shudder so intensely,u would have mistaken me for an epileptic patient havin a bout of severe fits.
swine.dont expect even an ounce of respect from me from now on.
unfortunately,he failed to ruin ur truly's birthday which's in twenty-one hours' time.had a steamboat buffet dinner at coca with jeremy and marcus juz before bookin into this most dreary place on thursday evenin.gorged myself like my stomach's a cauldron.haha.jeremy bought me cranberry butter cookies that came in a really exquisite container.haha.
juz thought i'd mention,not least for sundry and all to baulk at,i'd gone on a drinkin binge last friday and sent my tear ducts and vocal chords into overdrive when i'd blabber incessantly in my drunken stupour.i've probably escalated myself right up the list of alcoholics waitin impatiently to contract liver cirrhosis,but heyy,the emotional release was really much needed.
man's born to be adept at actin.even sulas was saliently surprised that im laden with troubles when im always lookin happier than jellybeans.
caught rockapella live in esplanade on 041107,of which half the ticket price of 30bucks was sponsored my my dearest zhizhong as a birthday treat.they were really fantastic-my mind's runnin dangerously low on fuel right now;that's about the most outstandin word i can conjure up.
zhiyuan and i will be havin dinner with shell's family at black angus,orchard park hotel tmr evenin.then both of us will be scootin off to indochine for a gatherin with my other close friends.guest-of-honour's my jiejie,of course:)
as i desperately hunt for my handsome sleep,my nineteenth birthday awaits me.
nostalgic and happy.
:)

.:my loneliness,but aint my loss:.

2007-10-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

being a social butterfly has never,and unfortunately will never on foresight,been a fervent ambition of mine,so it doesnt leave much to ur most limited imagination how,with an unprecedented amount of distaste,do i scorn those put who their pore clogged noses to the grindstone at establishin relationships with juz about any being that looks remotely like the human species.i dont embrace such superficiality,although it pretty much seems like gettin acquainted with juz about anyone and everyone's the mantra among those emotionally challenged these days.
ure the godforsaken one if u think im pennin these caustic words outta jealousy over those who possess sucha long directory of friends,the cambridge dictionary's put to utter shame.
juz because even my existence was most probably and most conveniently forgotten and subsequently excluded from someone's birthday bash aint gonna make me start flashin the most luminous of smiles in hope of gainin pathetic brownie points.
i dont need to relegate myself to such abyssmal levels to gain entry into anyone's termite colonised good books.
my friends are those who've been annointed by me for being the exceptional people that they are,and im sufficiently contented with them however small a group they are.
i enjoy being in my own league.
and no,u aint invited,so,bite the dust will ya.

.:ur fuckin friend:.

2007-08-23T04:37:00.000-07:00

been brimmin with frustration the entire week,and it aint exactly excitin havin to drag this leaden emotion every nook and cranny i trudge as time flows with maximum viscosity.gimme a decade and i'll still completely fail to,im positively sure,understand how u can succumb to ur friend's unfounded thoughts and spurious opinions.
ohh fuck.im really lost for words again.

.:experience:.

2007-08-13T02:19:00.000-07:00

experience can be a godsent gift bestowed by the most picturesque and tranquil of heavens above to offer u invaluable lessons on even the smallest fragments of life, yet it can also the source upon which the demon which resides in us draw strength from,evokin past emotions from past incidents that have hurt us more than deeply and coercin us to behave irrationally in an attempt to defend ourselves from being inflicted with more emotional wounds that time never really heals.

sometimes,ud fervently wish that all the memories confined in us,particularly the unpleasant ones of course,can be erased effortlessly to save us the trouble of grapplin with them still when smth similar happens again.truth of the matter is,this aint as effortless as removin pencil marks with a piece of eraser.

besides,ever realised how imprints of what uve written sometimes appears on the reverse side of the piece of paper ure writin on?

.:it's way too late:.

2007-08-07T00:02:00.000-07:00

the lessons that life has to offer are more often than not veiled in the most deceptive of manners,leadin u on a diabetically sweet wild good chase before dismemberin what's left of u,emotionally especially,juz when ure all absorbed in its enchantment.
im sayin this,not least cuz im the most qualified person around to dispense such eeriely true and difficult to comprehend philosophies of life,but cuz ive been there,done that.
life revolves around makin choices.unfortunately,human nature borders on selfishness,so only the minority few will not make choices from which they dont stand to gain anyth from.consequentially,life aint ever fair.ur every choice and decision will certainly leave one party relieved and perhaps to some extent,happy,while reducin the other party to a useless mangle only to pick up after himself.
my point being,why cant people attempt to strike a balance under such circumstances when they gotta make a choice?it'll undeniably be tirin,whether physically or emotionally,to accede to the requests from all parties,and obviously all parties will have to sacrifice certain things in the long run,but at the end of the day,im sure the most satisfaction will be derived knowin that uve done ur best and succeeded in easin such a tense situation by compromisin in all aspects.
because,when u gotta make a choice out of the two that're offered to u,it's innate is us humans to blindly discard the one that actually the matters most to us juz for the other choice that contains all but superficialities.
and when u finally realised what uve lost,it aint late,really.
it's way too late.

.:va va voom:.

2007-07-23T03:52:00.000-07:00

truth be told,i was kinda appalled upon the sudden realisation that this is only my third post of the year,but being the optimist ive always been,i take ample pride in the fact that a single post my,whether or not,lactlustre blog will probably do me sufficient justice with all its wicked sense of humour that,unfortunately,some people fail to appreciate.hahaha.randomness.
juz wanna say,the display of fireworks at saturday's national day parade preview,though not exactly spectacular,more than enchanted me as i was awed by its magnificence,watchin it at the esplanade.and u know why,dont u?:)
*never have i felt this feeling before,u showed me the world,how could i ask for more*

.:cuz they screwed up:.

2007-04-23T18:44:00.000-07:00

it's ironic how im now teachin the subject that i performed rather miserably for my A'level exams,with no thanks to that deranged pain who ought to pride himself for being in the same league as trolls.hrrmph.thanks god hes gone,but woe betide his mere existence.good riddance,u worm.
ahh.my national obligation's lurkin around the corner.kinda apprehensive abouddit,not because of the supposed physical torture that awaits me,but more of the fact that ive an entire cascade of concerns and worries of my family and friends thats weighin down on my like a leaden anchor.nevertheless,my national liability's or utmost and paramount importance,or so they say.speakin of which,im still irked by how irresponsible and inefficient the organisation is,especially when it prides itself as one of the most prominent organisations around in singapore.juz a simple email message providin as general an excuse as 'miscommunication' as an apology for the multitude of trouble and inconvenience u guys have caused to me aint gonna clean up ur organisations tarnished records,lady.watch me take u by the horns.hahs.
ohh man.im gonna miss lotsa people.parents,sisters,shell,quack,aileen,zhiyuan,yanting,yijun,engteck,jeremy,marcus,keith.
damn.

.:good mornin,mr lim:.

2007-04-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

hehehs*
basic courtesy should be consistenty,if not,aways practised,no?with that rule of thumb in mind,u all ought to greet mr abraham li with due respect as he saunters [nahh,never fashionably late.punctuality has always been a rather renowned virtue of mine] gallantly into the room.
hehehs*
teachin has been an immensely satisfyin job amongst the plethora of jobs i had undertaken mainly to supplement my meagre allowance to finance my expenditure, besides to effectively kill time.my sec1 kids and sec3 teenagers have been indispensable in makin my teachin experience at my alma mater such an endearin one,despite the occasions [many or not?:)] where i lost my cool [then again,ive always been simmerin hot,no?hahahs] and stung them ferociously,if i didnt already bust their fragile ear drums when i bellowed at an audio-nomical volume at the expense of my lungs.hahas.i love all my proteges,as much as they all love me!hahahahas.there're surely a group of really memorable ones larr:yiyang-the guy who perpetually exudes nonchalance but actually secured full marks for the chemistry test;shi kai-always appearin to be havin a rendexvous in his own world yet being another full marks scorer;an lee-had the audacity to lose the very first worksheet i distributed to the class,yet one of the few who really pays utmost attention in class;wen xuan-an extremely focussed girl who crawled back from the brink of death after [stupidly] inhalin a dizzyin volume of sulphur dioxide and displayed much consistency in her work,thus far at least [:)];yeeni-for bearin an uncanny resemblance,both physically and vocally,to tweety bird;joeshua-displays ample coolness [is it innate,or juz a facet?:)];kian koon-the guy who must've been a loudhailer his previous life;jun hao-for sufficiently provin he's not exactly dependable as a chemistry rep;zhi shuo-got caught by me red handed while exercisin his fertile imagination to visualise the identification of cations and anions;class chairman of 305 [oops!forgot her name!]-inheritant of the auntie yijun genes;lionel-the camera whore who had to make me embarrassed by proclaimin my sexiness for sundry and all to know;stanley-the guy who's deeply infactuated with me and who infamously pulled down my shorts at sports day and caused a mass nose bleed when the sec1 kids witnessed my bum clad in the brightest underwear [hahahahahahas! XD];the other guy-i forgot ur name,but ure the notorious one,at least to me,for outragin my butt's modesty umpteen times;huizhen-tickles her funny bones and witness her contort in muscular spasms;pocky of course-for always mockin exasperation when i call him affectionately by his nickname;kah hang-the meek guy who supposedly packs far greater a punch than his looks suggest;jun wei-not a boy,not yet a man;rachel-uberr vibrant personality;joseph-not so much of his tan that would've put chocolates to shame,but his nature demeanour,as though he's plottin some conspiracy [to kidnap me?gasp*];gideon-for being sucha giddygoat;rachel-she always beamin like a human light bulb!;sec 305-for honourably becomin one of first of a few [i dont think its thattttt manyyyyyyyy larrrrrr] classes to come under my claws [but u guys are fantastic really.i mean,it takes two to know each other right?im layman terms,im fantastic too XD];sec302-for relegatin me to stupidity all cuz my innocence never permitted me to acquire the chinese pronounciation of ur,god forbid,anal [whyyyyyyyyyyy would anyone of sufficient sanity wanna know that,much less find that out,in the first place??!!] and the guys for provin that im not the vain-est guy around,really.hahas
that said,my extraordinary and invaluable teachin experience aint entirely moulded by my students aye.the teachers,aka my colleagues,have been very hospitable and accomodatin towards me too.that said,it feels almost surreal to be placed on the pedestal of a teacher,what more in the very school i graduated from not too long ago,where the staff room which was once juz as,if not more sacred than,a shrine is now the very place i catch my forty winks or more durin my breaks.hahas.ohh mans.im gonna miss yvonnes and her seemingly innocent jokes which always happen to carry heavy erotic puns and connotations,nicholas for lookin like jeremy's long lost twin,jenny for always lookin so busy and flustered like a queen bee,eric for being the metrosexual man [juz like me!hehehehs XD],samantha for aspirin to be none other than victoria beckham [gasps!],and many more larr.hahas.

rolls my eyes

2006-12-26T21:57:00.000-08:00

pweeeh*my blog's almost colonised by spiders which have weaved a maze of cobwebs from every possible nook to every possible cranny.hahs im crappin again.
im bloggin aint cuz ive some inspirational life experience that i wanna share with u.rather,its cuz abras moods oscillatin between boredom and irritation.hahs.so u should know betta than to tread on my toes now.
ohh wells.maybe ive myself to blame for being so inept in entertainin myself.
and abra laments another possible wasted day where job opportunities are once again gonna be wrestled away from him in this time where he desperately needs financial support.not that hes puttin up a valiant fight though.his moods permittin him to only struggle futilely.
how ironic.time always flies,but right now its crawlin at so slow a pace,even snails would be ashamed of.
id betta stop whinin.the bottle of voda lyin within my reach looks temptin.hurhur.
and pam:stay strong and have faith alrights.u know that ure never alone:hes always guidin u.

.:miserable midget:.

2006-07-01T05:56:00.000-07:00

the sheer thought of being able to meetcha on the pretext of 'retrieving some books from my friend',juz one of the entire barrage of lies i had to blatantly and unabashedly spout to my mum,was the only reprieve i was offered before the vicious cycle of yet another routinely gruelling week starting again.goodness knows,and how ironic,when ur 'bestest friend' had to resort to wielding such despicableness and as a result,deservedly earned my utmost contempt and despise.
how can i ever thank u enough huhh.
miserable midget.

.:to my dearest dan****:.

2006-04-15T07:21:00.000-07:00

and so ur messenger name says 'hell hath no fury like dan**** scorned'.
u never fail to do ur utmost best at amusin me,dont u.
unless im that intellectually challenged to have gotten the meanin of 'fury' wrong all eighteen years of my life, it tickled me pink to see that bawlin like a baby in ur precious sister's arms is a display of fury.
my intention of steerin clear of u and neither contactin nor communicatin with u for the moment was evidently to letcha compose ur hysterical self and pick up whateva fragments of sane thought u could still possibly retrieve from ur hysterical outburst.
u obviously know that i speak daggers,especially when provoked.
i sincerely admire how bold and brazen u are at even comin close within a whisker's length of threadin on my toes,and marvel at how u actually relish being bathe in a cascade of venomous words.
this is an extremely rare example of how my words have failed miserably to even scratch u.or did they stab and puncture u?hurh.
ive said umpteen times that ure immature,and ive no qualms about declarin boldly that YES,URE IMMATURE.
ur grossly childish antics,compounded by ur expertise at blowin things way outta proportion for sundry and all to baulk at ur immaturity,deserves more than a standin ovation.
making things turn sour was never my intention,thats why i held back my barrage of malicious words that would have otherwise turned u into a a blood fondue.
i apologise for not havin forewarned u that sarcasm on ur part never gets u into my good book.ure juz endangerin urself further.
if any bitter feelin exist,congratulate urself for havin done a marvellous job at fuellin it.
and for the record,i CARED for u.geddit into ur goddamn thick head.
and if jiayi didnt sound convincin enough,ill do the honours of tellin u I WONT LIKE YOU ANYMORE.
i appreciate the fact that u took it in ur stride to treat my friend with warm hospitality and sttempted to hide ur emotion.
but lemme tell u this,its juz a hairline of a difference that distinguishes 'tryin' and 'tryin way too hard'.
ur failure to recognise this simple fact made u nothin short of a hypocrite,to say the least.
in simpler terms,ur expertise at puttin on a different facade all the time disgusted me,much less irritated me.
and,being 'hypocritical' has no casual link,whatsoever,on 'not cryin in front of me when u ought to'.
either im plain senile,or i dont even recall mentionin it.
i dont regret,not even the least bit,about what i said:ure world apart from ur sharp,erudite and mature sis.
'u can always take my words with a pinch of salt and woe betide u,or seriously ponder over what ive said and god bless u'.
im surprised u didnt know im juz as tired,if not more tired,of all the arguments that u skilfully conjured up with ur impatience,over-sensitivity and immaturity.
sayin that im tired of u is sooooo much an understatement.
if u wanna kick start a world war 3 war of words with me,ud better arm urself with the lastest copy of oxford or cambridge dictionary,though i seriously doubt if juz one copy will be sufficient for ur meagre ammunition of words,nor will there be even a single breath of life in u barely seconds into our war of words.
ohh,and ive gotta thank u for teachin me a new word that has eluded both the likes of oxford and cambridge dictionaries:'spilt milk'.hahahas.joke of the century,dude.
i dont needcha to act magnanimous,tellin shawn to keep me company when im lonely or tellin jiayi to be understandin towards me when im harsh,especially under such tense circumstances.
the reason's plain:i dont even feel the pinch of havin let evth go,after the divine revelation of ur true character.
ure the epitome of embarrassment to humans.
if ure kind enough,ud banish urself into oblivion,if not hell,for the greater good of humanity.
good riddance to u,dan****.
im really sorry my limited ammunition of words left u unscathed.

.:acs idol:.

2006-04-01T05:44:00.000-08:00

abra's mouth is highly capable of weldin malicious words as lethal weapons,but dont doubt its ability to charm u with mesmerisin renditions of lovey dovey ballads too:)
hahas..with that,i powered my way through the auditions to the next round of acs idol..phewww:)
one of the three judges present was particularly acerbic..as if rollin her eyes at me when my answer of 'if words can kill,i would have been a serial murderer by now', to her question of 'why did u say ure venomous,like a typical scorpio',wasnt distasteful enough,she had the audacity to quip 'wow,good defence' when i rebutted her on her fallacious point of view that our email addresses reflect our personality..gawsh,i was awfully surprised how her featherlight frame can bear the weight of her leaden ego..
okaes,bein the civilised person that i am,i shant be too judgemental..after all,i still have to thank her for puttin me through,though the decision wasnt unanimous between the three judges..lalalas~
theatre auditions next saturday..accordin to the information we were given,its gonna span the whole day cuz we'll be given tasks that are aimed at stretchin or vocals and what have u..hahas..
wish meee luck..
what am i gonna sing..hmms..
thinks hard~

.:how far:.

2006-03-10T22:38:00.000-08:00

trapped in yet another vicious cycle of checkin my handphone umpteen times in anticipation of ur sms and of driftin into thoughts of u incessantly throughout the day..
''i was only think of you,hopin you were thinkin of me..''-atomic kitten's 'cradle'..
its ironic how u can naively ask me who im referrin to when its blatantly referrin to u..
''how far do i have to go to make you understand,
i wanna make this work so much it hurts,
but i cant juz keep on givin,
go livin with the way things are
.
.
.
not till u decide what u want.what u need.
do you even care if i stay or leave..''-martina mcbride's 'how far'..
yes,u know that its u..
wantin to meet u seems like a mammoth task cuz u always seem to have ample reasons to..elude me,should i say?..and i had to resort to meet you on the pretext of gettin smth back,but its such an apparent lie..all i wanted was to see you..
sighs..
''最亲密的关系,
变得比路人还要陌生,
我害怕这一种残忍
.
.
.
最亲密的关系,
变得比路人还要陌生,
我害怕那会是我们''..

.:my new baby:.

2006-02-28T05:25:00.000-08:00

groansss~
heard that agonisin cry from my mirror?the sheer thought of havin to tolerate many more traumatisin days of havin a boy with a naked forehead scrutinisin his ghastly reflection while preenin himself in the mornin is sendin chills down the spine,or rather,frame of my mirror so violently,u would think it's lapsed into seizures..
meanwhile,i can only hope that all the good karma ive accumulated will go towards aidin the frail strands of seedlings teetherin precariously on the edge of my forehead to sprout a lil' more each day so ill regain my crownin glory in no time..
hahas:)
nothin really memorable happened,other than the fact that i got myself a hugo boss perfume ,a new balance jacket that looks kinda retro and,my latest baby,a puma watch!!juz some kind words of caution:come juz within a whisker near my baby without so much as utterin permission at ur own risk;leave ur legacy behind on my baby,particularly scratches,and ull get a gastronomically delightful knuckle sandwich.:)
realised that ive spent quite a bomb.gonna save up some moolah and stop succumbin to temptation or this bomb's gonna denotate very very soon..hahas:)
cheers guys:)

.:have u eva loved somebody who never knew:.

2006-02-13T06:46:00.000-08:00

smiles faintly~valentine's day is juz over an hour away..thought id be lookin forward to it in anticipation this year,but..oh wells..maybe after havin spent the past seventeen years of my life in solitude on the fourteenth day of the second month,im really destined to be a bachelor..
went to get flowers with karmen today after school..felt a sudden surge of emotion when i heard 'say goodbye' and 'ai hen jian dan' on my nano in the taxi..juz had to hold it back to not affect karmen..
its always only times like this that get me down and out..urgh..im screwed..
been waitin for u..
dya even know?
'can u feel the love tonight?'
no i obviously cant.
have u eva loved somebody who never knew?

.:when i pray on my bended knees:.

2006-01-24T06:20:00.000-08:00

thought that the tumultuous year that had trialed me relentlessly the past year had somewhat lost its capacity to wreak havoc in this new year,but i was proven quite wrong when it attacked with a vengeance yet again..
shouldve anticipated sucha sluggish start to the new academic year especially after havin let the lazy demon in me dictate my entire hols that included a schedule for all work but no play..strugglin feebly now to buck up,but there's only so much the best of my abilities and pull me through..i wouldnt consider this an excellent start,really..
family stuffs had been goin pretty well without any major hiccups and i naively associated it with a prelude of better things to come in the year,but mum juz dropped a bombshell on me..the first time i cried this year's this very day..
when i pray on my bended knees.

2005-12-18T07:39:00.000-08:00

initially thought of postin those bits and pieces of my thoughts id save in my mobile that trailed me persistently throughout the past few days like a shadow,but i decided that some were too personal for ur viewin pleasure..after exercisin discretion in decidin what ur eyes are allowed to feast on,here goes nothin..

~151205~
maybe im naive,but are r's action a reflection of feelins,if any,at all?or am i deceivin my gullible self yet again,'seein what i wanna see'?

~161205~
a sour feelin crept into me when r mentioned that a special someone initiated a conversation online.am i dreamin and bein over sensitive,or did i sense r's excitement?

bein sick has been leechin me of my energy and sappin me of my strength,but that aint stoppin me from thinkin about r all the time..

is this all but a dream?gawddd..snap outta it abraham!!sighs..i dont wanna be led on a wild goose chase..i dont wanna..

~171205~
stayin over at r's house,but those naggin thoughts nibblin at the back of my weary mind after a long day at work are doin a marvellous job at keepin my leaden eyelids from droopin the slightest bit..

at this unearthly hour of the night,im the only one awake around,waitin for my straggled soul and lost mind to find their way around..

gawd..juz woke up with a really bad dream with mum kinda fallin off a buildin..

r's msn nic always seems to suggest nothin short of my intuition bein accurate,but i dont dare say for sure..

.:sick:.

2005-12-15T04:59:00.000-08:00

urghhh..plans to embark on my christmas shoppin frenzy have to be shelved after being savagely attacked by the common illnesses today,of all times..hmmph..and the sheer thought of havin to work tmr isnt helpin much either..urghhh..
had a real family reunion of sorts for the first time in fifteen months today..finally..
anyways,not really in the mood to say much tonight..i'll juz end this post with little snippets of my train of thoughts that ive saved in my mobile through the past couple of days..ciaoz people..

~141205~
finally admitted my feelins to r in the wee hours of the mornin via sms though itz kinda obvious that r already knows it..
r's kinda troubled by what,i dont really know..been readin that sms repeatedly but it never fails to transcends that genuine warmth to the innermost depths of my heart each time..

2005-12-11T20:05:00.000-08:00

muahahas..abras back..back with a vengeance to blog!!muahahas=)
nothin really significant happened these days..hmm..urgh..=(
hehs..i kinda miss that boisterous bunch of kids at gracehaven home..hurhur..well,besides that handful of kiddos who were sooo full of themselves and practically had the words 'arrogant me' written conspicuonsly across their foreheads,the other were really cute and made our three days there more than memorable..=)ans,i wanna have a son like weijun!!hees..=)that cheeky monkey..hurhur..oh,that particular kid muz still be struck with a severe bout of love sickness without his precious audrey around to shower him with lotsa tender lovin care..hurhur..u know what to do,audrey..hahas..=)
hmm..ryker and darius stayed over at my place on frisay..and,it doesnt take a genius to figure that darius is a total bore..hurhur..shant bother to elaborate lest i put myself is serious peril..hurhur..and that boii slept like a log while ryker and i stayed up the entire night talkin..hurhur..sucha piggg..oinks..=)only managed to catch an hour of sleep before scootin off to work..and,i actually fell asleep while sittin on the toilet bowl in the staff toilet at robinsons..eeeks..=)hurhur..embarrassin..and my mum thinks darius' really cute,like that thing called teletubby..darius was about burst into a bout of euphoria until i told him my mum really had the purple teletubby in mind..hurhur=)eeeks..=)
went outta for dinner last night with them all again..and darius wore the same clothes that adorned his tree stump of a figure and we sent andri off at the airport two weeks back..hurhur..supposed to head for k-liuch today with shaun and darius,but that telerubby backed out..hmmph..shouldve anticipate that he'd go on a gallavantin rendezvous again..hurhur..=)
urgh..im tired..slept at like five in the mornin and got awoken by none other than my mum at the obscene hour of eight..hmmph..was talkin to ryker for almost 4.5 hours..in his words,he was offerin me a peek onto his world..hurhur..
anyways,somebody's been bad mouthin me thinkin im stuck in oblivion about whatz been said about me..hurh..my heartfelt advice:dont demean urself by committin such despicable acts .it doesnt impress anyone,much less me,really.sucha low down creature..gawd..
anyways,gonna be a kind soul and let someone else use this comp..=)hmm..hope i get my new handphone..hehs..=)

.:beezee beezee day:.

2005-11-26T16:13:00.000-08:00

yawnz..abra's kinda beat..dragged myself outta bed at the extremely obscene hour of five in the mornin to getta the airport to send andri off on his whirlwind tour of australia..maybe im intellectually challenged,but stoppin over at one australian city for juz one pathetic day and then whiskin off to another city the very next day doesnt seem to make much sense,since therez only so much of the sights and sounds u can take in in twenty four hours..wells,andri was supposed to getta the airport by 730,but he ended wakin up at that time instead..not that it was totally unexpected..hurhur..kinda dozed off while waitin for darius and andri to arrive..im soo really gonna knock andri's head when he returns on december 9..darius and i met him for all but fifteen minutes or so before he bounced off gallavantin and flirtin with two other friends from pj..hmmph..hurhur..
andri:u better contact darius and i when u return on december 9!!
hais..im soo gonna miss that guy when he flies off again to indonesia after his tour of australia and returns only some time in the middle of next year when A's results are released..=(nobody to talk to and disturb liaos..=(
oh..andri:my nougurts!!!!!or else..muahahas..~flex my muscles..hurhur..
hmm..then abra had breakfast at swensens..yummm..slurps..hurhur..
oh..bought a new pair of trunks..was deliberatin between the red and the silver one..and i ended up buyin the latter..the red one juz bears an uncanny resemblance to those seen on baywatch..hurhur..
might be goin out soon again..big aunts supposedly whipped up a storm in her kitchen..said that itz a farewell dinner for grandma whoz goin on her usual long trip to china..eeks..gonna be borin over there..big aunts gonna stuff us till we burst at the seams again..chomp chomp..hurhur..
yay..kid camp tmr..hope things will turn out fine..oh bloody hell..i forgot to buy those chocolates id see at the supermarket fot the kids..urgh..abra's gettin really old ehs..hurhur..aiyoh..how how..hmm..
talkin about how,anybody wanna take up econs tuition?taught by mr how..hurhur..drop me an sms if ure interested yeahs?..=)
cheers guys..hope the camp will be gooddd..=)

.:fuck u:.

2005-11-17T18:54:00.000-08:00

what happened today was the ultimate last straw,im tellin u.
nobody had even a whisker of courage to toe the line between my anger and my fury.
but today,someone had the audacity to blow my top so hard,a tornado was unleashed.

u led me on many an emotional rollercoaster ride,ill lead u on many an emotional rollercoaster crash.

u drove me to the verge of desolation,ill drive u to the brink of desperation.

u made my life a torrential storm,ill make ur life a livin hell.

trust me.ive said it,i can do it.not juz do it,but way better than what ure braced for.

mark my words.

.:total eclipse of the heart:.

2005-11-14T21:41:00.000-08:00

Turn around
every now and then I get a little bit lonely
And you're never coming round.
Turn around
every now and then I get a little bit tired
Of listening to the sound of my tears.
Turn around
every now and then I get a little bit nervous
That the best of all the years have gone by.
Turn around
every now and then I get a little bit terrified
And then I see the look in your eyes.
Turn around
bright eyes
every now and then I fall apart.
Turn around
bright eyes
every now and then I fall apart.
Turn around
every now and then I get a little bit restless
And I dream of something wild.
Turn around
every now and then I get a little bit helpless
And I'm lying like a child in your arms.
Turn around
every now and then I get a little bit angry
And I know I've got to get out and cry.
Turn around
every now and then I get a little bit terrified
But then I see the look in your eyes.
Turn around
bright eyes
every now and then I fall apart.
Turnaround
bright eyes
every now and then I fall apart.

And I need you now tonight
and I need you more than ever

And if you'll only hold me tight we'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line.
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark.
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks.
I really need you tonight - forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight.

Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm only falling apart.
There's nothing I can do - a total eclipse of the heart.

Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark.
Nothing I can say - a total eclipse of the heart.

Turn around
bright eyes
turn around
bright eyes.
Turn around
every now and then I know you'll never be
The boy you always wanted to be.
Turn around
but every now and then I know you'll always be
The only boy who wanted me the way that I am.
Turn around
every now and then I know there's no one
In the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turn around
every now and then I know
There's nothing any better and there's nothing that I just wouldn't do.
Turn around
bright eyes
everynow and then I fall apart.
Turn around
bright eyes
everynow and then I fall apart.

And I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever..

Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm only falling apart..
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart.

.:broken again:.

2005-11-13T21:57:00.000-08:00

hais..in an extremely malicous twist of fate,im swingin single again..
my birthday on friday had been a much anticipated one by non other than me,and that day certainly did not disappoint me..what more could i have asked for,when my most precious one spent half the day with despite nursin a fever and headache?..
little did i know that all the elation was all but a revoltin prelude to what was to come the very next day..
hais..thrown down from cloud nine into immense sadness and intolerable lonliness..my heart pulverised,my dreams galvanised..
today has been nothin short of meaningless for me..but juz in case ure interested to know,downin beer doesnt alleviate ur pain,not even for a split second even if u drink till hoverin on the verge of bein knocked outta ur sense and gettin drunk..
now i know..im a bloody fucked up bastard..i finally know..
i tried to kill my overwhelmin boredom and heartache by listenin to songs..but even then,i was brought to tears..

bon jovi~all bout lovin you
leean rimes~how do i live without you
tao zhe~ai hen jian dan
american idols ensemble~when you tell me that you love me

my greatest regret before leavin (if i really do)..
not bein able to see u for the very last time..
wrote this letter a few days back,though it aint finished..

somehow,nostalgia seems to have overwhelmed me these days as i often,sometimes sub-conciously,drift into reminiscing about the past five months.Minutes before i started penning this letter,i was clutching the brown file u bought me,embracing meows and froggie and holding the two postcards u had given me as i read them intently,especially the very first one u wrote me on our very first week together.
"love at first sight"was initially ridiculous to me,but the fictitious perception i had of it was dispelled after having gotten to know u.the strong affinity i had with u and never before with anyone else was the strongest indication of many more happy and memorable moments we'd share together in days to come.for the first time,my intuition did not fail me.
"aww..ure my dearest laogong,of course ure special!and im glad that u felt that way!in a sense,i could at least say i have someone special belonging to me.."this was the first time u addressed me so affectionately,and i still vividly remember the warm feeling that enveloped me when i received that sms on 070605 at 20:14:52.."

ive so much more to say to u,but its all choked back behind tears now..
id plan for ur last 44 days to be a very special one,all for u..but i wont have the honours of makin it all happen now,i guess..hais..

I wanna call the stars down from the sky
I wanna live a day that never dies
I wanna change the world only for you
All the impossible i wanna do

I wanna hold you close under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile and feel your pain
I know it's beautiful looking at you
You're in a world of lies, you are the truth

And baby, every time you touch me, I become a hero
I'll make you safe no matter where you are
And bring you anything you ask for, nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

I wanna make you see just what i wantS
how you that lonliness and what it does
You walked into my life to stop my tears
Everything is easy now, I have you here

And baby, every time you touch me, I become a hero
I'll make you safe no matter where you are
And bring you anything you ask for, nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

In a world without you (Without you)
I will always hunger
All i need is true love to make me stronger
Yeaa......

And baby, every time you touch me, I become a hero
I'll make you safe no matter where you are
And bring you anything you ask for, nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

When you tell me that you love me

.:reconcilation:.

2005-11-07T00:40:00.000-08:00

the journey to benneth's home in some part of the island called pasir ris,which happens to be much more than juz a pathetic stone's throw away from mine in bukit batok,was surely an arduous one..his dad was kinda reluctant to accommodate me,so i made my way to dagu's house at bukit gombak in high spirits,only to have my hopes of snugglin to bed dashed when i realised id left her house keys at home..after a conference call with benneth and andri,i flagged a cab to jeremy's home at serangoon,which left me no better than a bankrupt..
lotsa stuffs took place after that,but betcha would be snoozin and droolin in front of ur computer should i attempt to continue with my grandmother story..hurhur..in a nutshell,i still headed home at the persuasion of my dad and second aunt..oh wells..home's definitely sweet,but not all the time u know..
today's my last day of work at robinsons..im really gonna miss the place there.and definitely the people who have made this esperience sucah a memorably fun one..tell u all about it another time bahs..=)
love u,babyy..happy fifth month..and still countin..=)mwahx!!=)

.:liberation:.

2005-10-27T05:14:00.000-07:00

call it a liberation that ive yearned for almost my entire life..
sayin that i got kicked outta home only perpetuates the image that im an incorrigible bastard..so,get this right..i walked outta home bold and brazenly..
im starting work on friday,that is,today..company uniform being non negotiable,i evidently had to borrow a pair of black pants and shoes lest i got kickedoutta robinson's even before commencing work..havin slept for a mere two hours the night before,i would downright be lyin if i said i aint tired..really really tired..so i suggested to her that id sleep over at my friends place to save myself from havin to travel from kembangan to bt batok..as efficient as transport in singapore maybe,travellin to and fro practically across the island isnt the least bit fun..and she insisted no,conjurin up every possible reason to support her staunch 'no'..dad gave me the permission to,however,and that was juz what i needed..

will be continued-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

.:burppp:.

2005-10-23T20:40:00.000-07:00

bleahz..i unleashed my true and hidden potential as a glutton..hehs..all but half the day was spent eatin..chomp chomp..i seriously suspect that my toes will be barely visible to my naked eye if i were to stand perfectly straight and attempt to steal a peep or two at them..oh wells,not that it bothers me much..when u wanna eat,throw all caution to the wind and..eat!!chomp chomp..hurhur..
the menu i had for today?..red bean pancakes,peanut pancakes,creamy mushroom soup,forcassia bread,spicy crabmeat with beansprouts rolls,apple wedges with mango ice cream,fried rice with ikan bilis,grilled salmon fish..slurps..burppp..
ooh..results were finally released on friday after the elusive behaviour of teachers that shrouded them the entire week started to irritate me..earnin a promotion is one thing,but my rather atrocious reasults is little consolation and definitely nothin to cheer about..espcially chem,which i screwed up really big time..urgh..oh heck..
went wild and rampant on friday night..on that i mentioned it,i vividly remember havin went on a food eatin spree that fateful night as well..hurhur..oh,caught 'flightplan' at lido too..jodie foster's actin skills havent faltered one bit,i tell u..itz juz kinda unfortunate that i had to,of all people or even creatures,run into a bunch of ac people who were serious eye sores..and takin a cab home at 3am made my wallet 16bucks lighter..
hehs..the real adrenaline rush only came on saturday..when i lost my wallet at tampines..i first discovered that it was gone when i was fishin for my atm card to withdraw money..i ran helter skelter back to the toilet,only to see this old faggy walk outta a cubicle when he had already answered nature's call at one of the urinals when i was in the toilet juz five minutes ago..i shuddered at the thought of approachin him,but i did after all for the sake of my wallet..had i not been gripped with anxiety,i would have burst out laughin when old faggy adjusted his sunglasses,propped up his perfectly flat chest and wriggled his non existent brests at his own reflection in the mirror before replyin really sweetly:no,i havent..hahahas..gawd..im goin into a fit of laughter again..wells,at least i found my wallet..juz imagine the pathetic thief who might have laid his filthy hands on my wallet and tryin pathetically to sign with my visa..hahas..phewww..
anyways,i gotta go..burppp..nah,no more eatin..for the night,at least..hehs..ciao..=)

.:rawrrr:.

2005-10-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

~hugzz~i meeshes euuu,bloggg!!hurhur..
last day of what has been an agonisin week or so of intense muggin and brain cudgellin..but as always,happy endings only happen in fairytales as todays bio paper proved..urgh..oh wells..juz the sheer thought of my mammoth effort comin to nought kinda erases the joy thats supposed to emanate from the fact that exams are over..
shant comment on the other papers..but i guess ill juz have to face the glarin fact that im not exactly blessed with a grey matter thats thrown into extensive folds and furrows to be a straight As student..oh wells..
and what the bloody heck is wrong with wantin to style my very own hair the very way i please instead of comformin to the ancient nutty professor look that uve always considered to be suave and charmin?juz roll outta my life lar..damnnit manz..u dont have the slightest bit of right to interfere with what i wanna do even if itz stated clearly in black and white that ure my mum,so long as my actions are within legal limits..hurh,seems like ure deficient on knowledge of a child's right..go read up,u midget..
great..im gonna be stuck at home for the comin couple of days with a dog whose barks are so much worse than itz bites,it can send u into instant convulsions..
kinda side-tracked a little,didnt i..hurhur..
hmm..meows muz be havin fun with dino now..hahas..=)

.:inside your heaven:.

2005-08-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

it juz struck me about how coincidental things can and have been..everytime i'm mowed down by sickness,it'd be compounded by those thorny issues that do little to rejuvenate me..sigh..oh wells..
hmm..itz almost the end of the third term..as always,time really flies..academics wise,things have been goin pretty okae i guess..managed a B for chemistry and an A for maths..hope this isnt juz a momentary f;icker of a candlelight and that i'll be able to sustain through..
what else can i say?..i initially thought things were back on track when i received that sms yesterday..goodness knows,things changed again in a matter of hours..as fickle as the weather huh..

inside your heaven
i've been down,now i'm blessed,
i felt a revelation coming around..
i guess its right,its so amazing,
everytime i see you i'm alive,
you're all i got,you lift me up,
the sun and the moonlight,
all my dreams are in your eyes..

i wanna be inside your heaven,
take me to the place tyou cry from,
where the storm blows your way..
i wanna be the earth that holds you,
every bit air you're breathing in,of soothing wind,
i wanna be inside your heaven..

.:sleepin,and never wakin:.

2005-08-17T15:51:00.000-07:00

sigh..sayin that i'm stressed right now is an understatement..ironic as it sounds,but my life has taken a toll on itself..
fever,headaches and a viral throat infection hit me with a vengeance over the last couple of days..i've lost count of how many times i've been down and out due to sickness this year..hmm..didnt quite believe that loh chean meng actually sorta turned a blind eye when i was sleepin durin pccg period..hmm..thought that he'd poke me awake..
trudgin to the bus stop on my way home,those issues that have been weighin me down juz flooded my lethargic mind again..could have cried and collapsed,but i held on..
for the umpteenth time this year,i contemplated suicide again..i'm juz tired of living this life,a life thats fraught with danger,brimmin with obstacles,one that leads u on an extreme emotional rollercoaster ride..i'm tired,really tired,and i havent been more fervent all my life than this time in hopin to breakaway from the acute disappoinment and depression that have been hot on my heels like shawdows,once and for all..life's all about seekin happiness,but i havent found mine..do i have one in the first place?..from the looks of it,i seriously doubt so..
okae,tears are wellin up in my eyes now as i'm typin this..sigh..
i've had a hard childhood,bein brought up in the environment i was brought up in..now i know that thoughts of me being emotionally and mentally tough were juz naive thinkin on my part..
i've never questioned the prupose of life,but i have to now..if i was born to shoulder all these on my skinny frame,then i'd rather not have stepped into this world..
gonna sleep now..will i wake up?..i hope never..

.:torment.exhaustion:.

2005-08-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

those naggin thoughts that have been meekly nibblin on my mind have now turned bold and are devourin me from the inside ruthlessly..sigh..
for some reason or another,monday's chapel almost brought me to tears..the songs juz struck a chord with my feelings,those that i've kept bottled up and eluded for long..perhaps itz high time that i took the bull by the horns and nip every problem in the bud?..easier said than done..sigh..
today's not much better..dont wanna talk about it..
torment.exhaustion.
go figure..sigh..

.:incy wincy spider:.

2005-08-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

hrrmmph..i'm losin my voice..been soundin muffled and hoarse since yesterday..my darn throat's so parched and itchy,it feels like there's a hairy spider gettin itself comfy there..urghhh..that only means i can hold my sell-out concerts in the bathroom for the next few days or so..bleahz..=(..hahas..
tirin day..went out since mornin..hahas..got home in the evening..burppp..i'm full from dinner..
hmm..nothin really much to say today..hmm..
oh,dandy mandy told me smth that caught me by surprise yesterday..hmm..shant elaborate..but it only goes to show that i wasnt makin shrewd assumptions or accusations at that time..hahas..finally,vindication..hahas..=)
lalala..=)) enjoy ur weekends,peepz..=)

more than words
saying i dont love you,
is not the words i want to hear from you..
its not that i dont want you,
not just said but if you only knew
how easy
it would be to show me how you feel..
more than words,
is all you have to do to make it real,
than you wouldnt have have to say,
that you love me,
cuz i already know..
what would you do,
if my heart was torn in two?..
more than words to show you feel,
that your love for me is real..
what would you say,
if i took those words away?..
then u couldnt make things new,
juz by sayin i love you..=)

.:yabadabadoo:.

2005-08-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

yabadabadoo..!!..
the weekends are finally here..phew..lethargy has finally caught up with me and swept me off my feet this week,despite bein a pretty short one,after i had eluded it for the last couple of weeks..nah,i didnt drift off to sleep durin econs lecture..i merely fell into a deep slumber..hahas..that woman's one hell of a hypnotiser,i tell u..hahas..actually intended to catch up on biology durin her lecture,but her hynotising powers were too..uhg..strong to resist..hahas..so much for buyin sweets to keep me awake huh..hahas..=)
hmm..whatz there to update..oh,did pretty okae for chem test..being the severely myopic person that i am,made a couple of careless mistakes here and there,on top of the more challenging ones which naturally stumped me..hahas..=)
oh,eugene chua's really nice..allowed us to join the class for games on thursday..hahas..played volleyball..after a long hiatus..the last time i even touched a volleyball,much less hit it,was like 12 months back..hahas..and,i supposedly owe him four rounds on the track juz cuz he didnt inform me that i had to run..lols..hmmph..
hmm..kinda disappointed with biology test..no,not with the test itself,but with the fact that i actually let laziness creep over my head durin the long national day hols..that small amount of effort i put in,last minute or not,will guarantee me a pass and not the distinction i'm aimin for..damn it..this should be a wake up call..seriously..
oh,jiamin and jade commented on the tone of my blog entries today..hmm..didnt really get what u both were tryin to put across..hahas..hope today's entry's better?..hahas..=)
goin out for breakfast tmr..and hang around..with..hehz..for me to know and for u to find out..hahas..=)
anyway,enjoy ur weekends guys!!oh,karmen,i'm sure u can pass napfa de..we all can..=)

itz alright
so tell me how u feel,
tell me what is going on,
cuz when all hope is gone,
u need a friend,uh-huh yeah..
and i'll be there for u,
i'll be there to help u through..
take u to anothere place,
cuz u got a friend..

when u're feelin low,
and u're on ur own,
got nowhere to go,
u gotta pull urself together..

itz alright,,(anyth u wanna)
itz alright,(leavin all ur troubles)
far bahind,
dont let anybody tell u,
how to live ur life..

itz alright,(no mattaer what u're feelin)
itz alright,(u better start believin)
in urself,
dont let anybody tell u,
how to live ur life..
is this alright..

.:i've got the music in me:.

2005-08-08T20:44:00.000-07:00

*tappin my toes*..lalala..*snappin my fingers*..laadeedums..*swayin from side to side*..
heehees..i've been extraordinarily hyperactive these few days..hmm..guess this burst of energy that i've been experiencin since saturday night was a compensation of the previous days of lethargy,when i finally had everything solved,of cuz with the help of god who answered my incessasnt,fervent prayers..=)
sunday was a pretty borin day as usual..i became eighteen bucks poorer after gettin a haircut at cos-lab..my hairstylist's really nice..he used to charge me sixteen bucks for juz a haircut..but he charged me a mere two bucks more to get my hair washed that day..when he usually charges above 22 bucks..hahas..
hmm..national day celebrations in school was kinda predictable..the only part that kept me singin and groovin wasnt when phantom aka banshee took to the stage to show that her lungs arent really lungs-they're really enormous airbags,but the part where we got to sang the national day songs..hurhur..my mouth stopped itchin the moment we started singin..hahas..oh..juz thought that phantom aka banshee would like to know that she's found a successor in karmen..hahas..karmen's gonna kill me when she reads this..hahas..=)
went to changi airport for lunch today..met jade at tanah merah while waitin for zell..hmm..i learnt what 'value for money' meant when we went to have lunch at fish and co..i got an entire fish head when i ordered some swordfish main course..try figurin out how bit half the head was if i told u that each eye of the poor swordfish was as large,if not larger,than two cherries..burppp..=)oh,and i had a citrus cocktail..hurhur..slurps..=)though the vodka content was far too low..didnt feel the punch..=((
and that lunch made me 52 bucks poorer..*sigh*..thinks i should take up a part time job as a cleaner to supplement my pocket money le..hahahas..
gonna study biology over the long break..and i made a resolution to do a few maths question everyday to prepare myself for the test on monday..
urgh..had only four hours of sleep last night..my hideous eyebags are a testimony to that..
..but who care?..i'm still feelin high!!..=)

i've got the music in me
Ain’t got no trouble in my life
No foolish dream to make me cry
I’m never frightened or worried
You know I always get by..
I heat up
I cool down
Something gets in my way
I go around it
Don’t let life get me down
Gonna take it the way that I found it

I’ve got the music in me
I’ve got the music in me
I’ve got the music in me

I’ve got the music in me
I’ve got the music in me
I’ve got the music in me

You say that life is a circle
But that ain’t the way that I found it
Oh...gonna move in a straight line
Keeping my feet firmly on the ground
I heat up
I cool down
I got words in my head so I sing them
Don’t let life get me downI
can’t hold onto the blues so I play them

.:and crumblin:.

2005-08-05T20:14:00.000-07:00

*sigh*..itz one of those days where u wanna get everything off ur chest,vent all ur frustration,dispell all the loneliness and purge out all sense of sorrow thats been grippin u for goodness knows how long,yet u dont know how to get the ball rollin..
woke up this mornin dreadin havin to go to school,all the more so since we're gonna have our econs common test today..thank goodness the test wasnt as difficult as i had initially expected,though i dont think i'll do very well,as i have always been..dandy mandy and jade kinda kept me laughin like a lunatic durin bio tutorial and gp lesson..it sorta made me forget about my troubles,but everything came rushin back to me at once when the final bell rang to signal the end of school..
receivin ur sms durin maths tutorial informin me that u were sick made me worried..that explains why i called u immediately after school ended to make sure u're fine..that sense of worry evolved into a sense of depression when i heard the curt and unforgivin voice speakin to me on the other end of the line..i've apologised for sayin what i said and makin u feel what u felt..it juz struck me hard when u said u 'cant be bothered about it' and that we should go on being cold and hostile to each other.addin that u're 'fine with it' and that i'll soon 'get used to it'..*sigh*..i was juz bein honest with u when i said what i said..and i thought that u could at least appreciate that..u cooked up a big lie--in fact,not one,but three glarin lies that i only found out after much probin on the monday followin the end of ur term exams,but i got over it by the end of the day..knowin that compromise is the key..i was willin to do so then,though it was a very big issue,so why cant u now,furthermore for such a small one?..*sigh*..
itz hard not to think about it,really..as much as i try hard not to,my fragile mind somehow drifts off in that direction no matter when and where..this may sound inconceivable,but the underlyin reason's as simple as the fact that u're someone special to me,even if the entire world doesnt care two hoots about u..
there's so much more i wanna say..but i juz cant put it in words..
*sigh*..another long weekend..
tomorrow's supposed to be a special occasion..seems like whether it'll happen or not is still an uncertainty now..
dearest god,i'll do anything juz for everything that's been torn to be mended and cracked to be sealed..
juz for u..

.:crumblin:.

2005-08-04T18:24:00.000-07:00

hmm..*sigh*..things havent been totally right for me today at all..
slept pretty early last night with the intention of wakin up early at 4am to get some studyin for econs done..u dont have to be a genious to figure that i was too lazy to even move an inch from my bed..and of all things,i had a nightmare durin that extra one hour or so of sleep that i wasnt suppose to take..in a nutshell,i dreamt that meimei was shot and died..*sigh*..i was kinda badly shaken by it even after i realised that it was juz a nightmare..it flashed across my mind even while i was showerin..that one damn nightmare sure did shake me..
what happened yesterday has been addin weight to my already leaden heart..i've learnt from our past quarrels to keep my cool and not juz shoot my mouth,and thats precisely what i've been doin..but u juz dont see that ur actions left my heart bleedin profusely..i swallowed my pride to apologise to u,but u simply brushed me off nonchalantly..and as though to add insult to injury,u're goin to watch a play with j--- cuz j--- 'has already bought the tickets*..*sigh*..all i want is someone to dispell the overwhelmin sense of loneliness in me,and i was anticipatin u,but u juz walked away,but not before makin me feel worthless..
got pissed off by elvin..he's some guy from singaopre poly who got my contact details from a penpal column in some magazine that my friends coerced me into writin in with them to..itz far too coincidental to get blank msges and missed calls from the same person in one day..i expressed my unhappiness about it,and he had the audacity to flare up at me..hurh..and i kindly reminded him not to test my patience and use of the english language..btw,u'll get tickled pink if u read his msges..wanna know why?..hurh..ask me..
aint feelin too well..most probably down with fever again..and all those issues botherin me arent helpin much..*sigh*..two panadol tablets can help subside ur fever..wonder if 24 of those white tablets can work miracles and rid u of all agony as well?..mebbe itz worth a try..after all,there's a first time for everything..
*sigh*..never knew i'd crumble to pieces in times like these..

.:reflection:.

2005-07-27T18:44:00.000-07:00

yay!!..hurhur..havent slept during lectures and tutorials in school since monday..hurhur..it might hardly be an accomplishment for u,but itz no mean feat for me..haha..lols..
things havent been quite the same after the entire incident subsided..hmm..like what they've been sayin,it juz made me see the real facet of people,includin myself,that has all the while been hidden upon reflection..hmm..been sittin around with other people in class as well..guess they're not too bad..oh,sittin alone durin lectures isnt as bad as what i expected as well..haha..mebbe thats the reason why i havent been dozin off..haha..crap..=)
been ponderin over some stuff..hmm..we'll see how things go bah..then i'll decide..
urgh..so much work..and common tests are juz around the corner again..haiz..guess i'll have to live with it..
went to hwa chong after school today..went to look for shell..saw aileen,who seems to have sprouted some muscles,and amanda,whose hair was rampant on her head..haha..didnt stay for long though..cuz shell had dance..haha..miss em yeah..=) too bad quack and zhiyuan couldnt come..=(

.:sobz:.

2005-07-24T18:22:00.000-07:00

haiz..god evidently isnt making life any easier for me..i've been trapped in this heat wave for what seems like ages,and itz not about to dissipate..and goodness knows how things can evolve in juz a matter of hours..
i just snapped..really did..for no apparent rhyme or reason..i could have skinned myself alive for having let that wild tongue of mine go on a rampage..haiz..too late to regret now..why didnt i juz compromise and shut my trap?..gawd..i thought that hitting the sack would let me drown my sorrows in my sleep..how naive..i woke up barely an hour later only to find myself tearing as memories flooded my weary mind..haiz..
i said it then,i mean it now:i'll never let u go..

.:rA--nO peEpz bElOw 21 allOwEd:.

2005-07-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

hmm..my body's radiating as much heat as that conventional microwave oven sitting in ur kitchen..urgh..try cookin a poached egg on my stomach,mate..hurhur..=)
jeffery archer's a prison diary kinda left me speechless..hmm..read this gory account of how one of the prison inmates actually castrated his wife's lover before mutilating her by piercing the knife through her *beep* upward to her neck,but not before raping her..gawd..juz reading it made me wince..

.:wHeN disAppOiNmeNt sets iN:.

2005-07-21T18:47:00.000-07:00

hmm..been there,done that..or rather,went through it all before..
i bet all my riches u've all experienced times when u felt urself plunging into disappoinment and depression when u scrape through exams meagrely or even fail miserably..
momentarily,the notion of being born a loser sets in,and u more often than not,start contemplating ur seemingly bleak future,pondering over what went wrong and what holds for u..
well,here's a simple revelation:nothing really went wrong..
okae,thats quite a bold statement to say,since u ought to pummel urself hard if u flunked for the simple reason that ur notes and books were left to bury in cakes of dust..
but if u know u've put ur best foot forward,then banish all thoughts of regret,dear..performing below expectations is juz another one of those obstacles god has put in place to strengthen us as a person..
''practice makes perfect.but if no one is perfect,why practice?''it isnt a startling truth that no sinple soul can attain perfection,but dont let that deter u from practising..at least u've tried,so take pride in that..
''those who achieved great dreams were great dreamers.''ahh..juz make sure u build those castles in the air when u're sleeping at night and not during lessons..=)
walk slowly,but never walk backwards..He and i will be behind u every step of the way..=)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

head's pounding right now..urgh..

haiz..i miss u guys..lots..quack,shell,aileen and zhiyuan..

i miss nanhua,i miss 401..

i miss mdm sia,mrs wong,mrs lip,ms ang,miss wassan,mr pandian,mdm foo,mr chee..

haiz..i guess thats part and parcel of growing up bah..hmm..oh wells..

been thinking about certain issues..how they started,developed and progressed..

hmm..salvation time?..prickly,but i'll try..

rented jefferey archer's book:a prison diary..very touching..

to my zzZz:hehe..u know what i'm gonna say..=)

.:battle of wits:.

2005-07-20T17:41:00.000-07:00

wootz!!hurhur..havent blogged for what seemed like decades ehz?..haha..abra's in a terrific mood today,thats why he's blogging..hurhur..=)
claire:tt fella better watch out if he does anything more.I'll just scold him right in front of everyone.I don't care.watch me!...hmph if I'm in school,I'll just SCREAM at him[I will really go bash him up] and make his life hell for the rest of his JC life.
oooh..claire's grim words sent a chill down my spine and intimidated me so much,i peed in my pants!!hurhurhur..
lalala..been a while since i exercised my gift of speaking daggers..woah..felt the adrenaline rush that lifted my spirit and mood mile high today..hurhur..=))
*sigh*i pity those wimps that are,till today,manipulated by her..*sigh*thatz either pure misfortune,or sheer stupidity..i think the latter applies..hurhur..
claire:plus he didn't say sorry either.
for HER information,i did forgive everyone and i did apologise to huiling via sms,but reading her blog that evening made her apology sound forced and cheap..not that i want it anyway..hahaha..
claire:I'm not afraid to admit when I'm wrong.so what if u tarnish your reputation or lose face.
losing ur face is one thing,but i suggest u lose those cellulite thats wrapped tightly and loving around ur waist and thighs first..hurhur..=)))
claire:now it's our fault for trying to help out..trying to make things work when he's doing absolutely nothing.
gawsh..now she's trying to be oh-so-helpful by having things messed up and navigating in the wrong direction..oh,might as well..at least she'll be lost and gone..=)))
huiling:anyway..as for those comments that abraham tagged on my board..im not really angry..because i think im numb liao...and basically i think that all his reactions...scolding people one by one...when they did nothing...is purely childishness.....immature la..
hurhur..making lightwork of those wimps under ur belt by saying they did nothing?get real gal..those lies about losing ur way umpteen times and all were juz fabricated so people will rub ur bruises and give u lollipops..lalala..oh,and she's numb cuz she's thick in the head..cant be helped that she's born like that..
huiling:...going around swearing and scolding pple...
hurhur..thats exactly what people mean when they say 'pot calling the kettle black'.ur dear meatball of a friend who goes by the ghastly name karmen started the FA name calling thing..me?..i'm juz doing my partby contributing and joining in the fun.yay!!..lalala..=)))
huiling:anyway..all the while he always think that he is right...and he has got an attitude prob in my opinion....and other think in the same manner too..so...so what if he scolds us or swear at us? it's not going to change the fact that he indeed has a character prob...and attitude prob...not amount of swearing, scolding and fighting is going to change that...
woah..i'm appalled the number of basic english errors that can appear alone in one such paragraph,whicheven my nine year old sis wouldnt commit.hurhur..so what if i have an attitude prob?i know i have,and i'm not afraid to admit.unfortunately,she thinks that going around claiming that she aced terms juz by luck,without studying and forgetting everything she studied hasnt annoyed many other people and isnt a display of her unwavering egoism..tsktsk..seems like people who are thick in the head are thick skinned as well..trying to portray urself as an innocent little-girl next-door?..try harder..=))) lalala..
huiling:time will prove everything...the right...the wrong...the wise...the foolish...the mature...the immatures ones...and i will be there to see how time proves all these...
*sigh*u've live 17 years of ur life in self deception,gal.unfortunately,time hasnt been very helpful in helping u realise that.time and tide wait for no man,so snap out of it..
huiling:anyway that person is not abraham.
*phew*thank goodness..this is a real blessing in disguise.now i can sleep soundly at night knowing that i wont have nightmares.i pity irwin though,since he's the one and only one huling's infactuated with.tsktsk..what a shame.=)))))
all of them yada yada-ing..tsk tsk..barbarians,them..hurhur..
oh,i'm suddenly enlightened on why fuck is spelt with a 'c' and a 'k' at the end.the word's inventor had two swines in mind at that time.apology to all swines if i'm insulting them,cuz some people simple dont deserve to even be called the flies that hover around swines' pooh.
"itz a beautiful day..!!'..hurhurhurhur..lalala..=)=)=)=)=)

.:hols':.

2005-06-15T11:21:00.000-07:00

wootz!..hehz..havent bloggeg for quite a long time ehz?..haha..
hmm..the hols' seem to go as quickly as it came..juz ten more days and the daily routine of trudging to school in the wee and obscene hours of the morning all starts again..i kinda dread it-i mean,who in the right mind wouldnt?..but staying at home for this hols isnt any better..been mugging seriously since last weekend le..juz two more chapters to finish chem..done with one chapter of econs..started on maths last night..yep..but i still think i'm going too slowly..oh well..i'm a slow walker,but i never walk backwards..hehz..my granddad,abraham lincoln,said that..wahaha..
exceeded my sms usage for this month by a whooping 700+..i'm gonna be sooo dead..={
oh..have u guys heard the new song "little superhero girl" by corrine may?..itz nice..yep..i was juz listenin to mariah carey's "through the rain" too..thats a very touching song..love it..=)
hmm..till i blog again..i'll end with the chorus of a song..=)

i need you like water,like breath,like rain..
i need you like mercy from heaven's gates..
u're the freedom in my arm,
and it carries me through..
i need u like water,like breath,like rain..
i need u like mercy from heaven's gates..
there's the feeling in ur arms,
and it carries me through..
i need you..
oh,yes i do..

.:wootz:.

2005-06-08T15:49:00.000-07:00

hmm..been mugging chem since i woke up this morning..finished redox and mass spectrometry..think i'm progressing kinda too slowly though..hmm..i'll go faster tmr..there's really not much time left le..i'll have to finish studying chem this weekend by hook or by crook..
huiling called me last night to discuss some chem questions from tys..haha..we managed to solve some rather tought ones,but not others..yep..my mum's like gonna kill me if she finds out how much paper i've been using,or rather,wasting these few days..loads and loads of it i tell u..cuz i'm redoing all the tutorials..and scribbling when i'm bored..haha..oh,i drew a picture of tigger holding a heart on his furry paw today..my sis said it looked very nice..juz like the real cartoon..haha..impressed ehz?..thats my hidden talent..wahaha..
hmm..there's like no one online to chat with now..supposed to help a friend with school work..but it was cancelled at the last minute..sickening..could have gone out earlier then..chatting with alex lee now..haha..claire muz be cursing me under her breath now:'@#$%^&^%$#@'..wahaha..
breakfast and lunch today was kinda screwed up..shant bother to elaborate..bleahz..
cant wait to go orchard later on..meeting marc to go together..hopefully my mum will be generous today and hand me her atm card..hehz..the last time i went shopping,or even bought somethig,was like last yeay,if my memory isnt failing me..there're so many things i wanna get lar..a new bag,wallet,watch,shoes,cologne,mebbe clothes..haha..okae,thats my target for this year:to get all the stuff i wanna get by this year end..haha..=)
i wonder how's everyone doing..hey guyz!!if u're reading this,do drop me a note to fill me up on whats been going down for u all yeah?..i have no idea where the freak my tag board vanished too,and i'm kinda lazy to get one again..so juz leave a comment or smth yeah?..=)
school's boring,but holidays are juz so much worse..i think u all get what i mean..haha..
take care guys..=)

.:music of my heart:.

2005-06-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

You'll never know,
What you've done for me,
What your faith in me,
Has done for my soul..

You'll never know,
The gift you've given me..
I'll carry it with me (yeah..yeah..)

Through the days ahead,
I think of days before..
You made me hope for something better.. (yes you did)
And made me reach for something more..

You taught me to run,
You taught me to fly,
Helped me to free the me inside..
Help me hear the music of my heart,
Help me hear the music of my heart..
You've opened my eyes,
You've opened the door,
To something I've never known before..
And your love,
Is the music of my heart..

.:anywhere for you:.

2005-06-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

I'd go anywhere for you
Anywhere you asked me to
I'd do anything for you
Anything you want me to
Oooooo...Hey Baby
I'd walk halfway around the world
For just one kiss from you
Far beyond the call of love
The sun, the stars, the moon
As long as your love's there to lead me
I won't lose my way, believe me
Even through the darkest night
You know..

I'd go anywhere for you
Anywhere you asked me to
I'd do anything for you
Anything you want me to
Your love as far as I can see
Is all I'm ever gonna need
There's one thing for sure,
I know it's true
Baby, I'd go anywhere for you

I used to think that dreams were justfor sentimental fools
And I'd never find someone
Who'd give their love so true
But I knew the very minute
I couldn't live my life without you in it
And now I want the whole wide world to know..
Hey baby, hey baby hey babyna-oooohhh
Hey baby
For you..

I'd go anywhere for you
Anywhere you asked me to
I'd do anything for you
Anything you want me to
Your love as far as I can see
Is all I'm ever gonna need
There's one thing for sure,
I know it's true
Baby, I'd go anywhere for you
All for u..

.:we rawk:.

2005-06-04T20:52:00.000-07:00

wootz..went to bugis with jeremy today..havent been there for a long time..had long john's silver for lunch..it wasnt really very appetising..heh..saw this brown long-sleeved,striped shirt at topman..69 bucks..heh..wanna get it for nanhua's dinner in july..=)
ehz..we had our class outing at east coast today..well,huiling's cycling skills are almost as bad as my baking skills..haha..i pity the lamp posts and coconut trees that she crashed into..haha..she's gonna kill me for this..and being the kind person that i am,i offered to give her a lift on my bicycle..i tell you,dont ever judge her by her petite frame..i think she carries as much meatas karmen..haha..nah,karmen's still the heavyweight champion..huiling's runner up..haha..
bowling was fun..heh..menghui's like damn pro lar..consistently hitting strikes and spares..the bowling alley's kinda screwed up..the system had so many problems and glitches..made me kinda annoyed..haha..
well..i didnt really have dinner..kinda exhausted..fell asleep on the bus on the way home..juz got myself a doughnut as i trudged home..yep..really tired..but being able to see all my friends and having so much fun was all worth it..=) rawk on,guyz..=)

.:i love meimei:.

2005-05-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

brought meimei out to bowl today..all the travelling made me kinda tired and frustrated,espcially since the bowling alley's tucked away in some obscure corner in kovan..lols..but seeing how meimei broke the record for the most gutter balls,her funny pose when u prepares to bowl,and most importantly,how she enjoyed herself,it was all worth it..=)

.:all about loving you:.

2005-05-27T22:07:00.000-07:00

everytime i look at you,
baby i see something new..
it takes me higher than before,
it makes me want you more..
i dont wanna sleep tonight,
dreamin's juz a waste of time..
when i look at what my life's becoming to,
i'm all about loving you..

.:once an ascian,always an acsian:.

2005-05-27T22:02:00.000-07:00

hmm..itz been an exceptionally long week..not that there were eight days this week..juz that itz been very exhausting,yet fufilling..
frankly,i had harboured misconceptions that peepz from acjc were nothing short of a bunch of kids clad in branded clothes, overflowing with money and bursting with pride..haha..who knows..5 months after stepping into the compounds of acjc,i'm more than proud to be a member of this family..haha..
went down to toa payoh sports hall to cheer for our netball gals at their finals against HCI on wednesday..and we pipped the defending champions for the title!!..yay!!..haha..hmm..and i was at the police academy yesterday to cheer for our ruggers..that scrawny pe teacher had said that we would trash rjc and see them leave with 'their tails between their legs'..and we did!!haha..coolz..beat them flat..23-0..lalala..
honestly,it wasnt the victories that i'm concerned with..what struck me most was how all of us,be it the 200 or so cheering for the netball gals or the 1800 of us cheering for the ruggers,really made ourselves heard and our presence felt..cliche as it may sound,but 'our hearts,our hopes,our aims are one'!!!..haha..
well,itz the last day of school today..i've been anticipating this long break for what had seemed like ages..i'm glad it finally came,but kinda sad too..gonna miss my bunch of boisterous friends..school life would have been so dead and boring without them..take care guyz..and plz mug for term exams!!boring as it may be..yep..=)god bless yaeh?..hope to cya all back in school next term in one piece..haha..
oh,andri,if u're reading this,u still owe me a movie..=)haha..

.:time:.

2005-05-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

another dull and dreary day in school..chemistry test didnt make my day any better..thank goodness itz just a class test,so it doesnt count for much..phew..
it just struck me that time didnt fly--it rocketed past us..itz almost the middle of the year..hmm..fascinating huh..haha..time flies when u want it to crawl,and crawl when u want it to fly..haha..according to abra,that is..haha..
oh..today's alex lee's last tutorial with us..claire was on the verge of tears..nah,i'm sprouting nonsense cuz i'm bored-dont mind me..haha..well,he's nice lar but kinda weird..if u saw him doing his strange lil' dance or heard him singing to himself during lessons,u'll know what i mean..haha..oh,and his odd *ahem..*affinity towards the gender we call males..haha..he'd better not see this or i'm sooo dead..lols..
karmen's been behaving in an eccentric manner all day..irwin,huiling and i got the vague impression that she's avoiding us..hmm..hope my loose tongue didnt say smth wrong..=)
quack called me all of a sudden to ask abt her general paper group essay or smth..my interpretation of the question was entirely different from her's,but i'm pretty sure i'm ritez..well,if i'm wrong..heh..sorry..=)
huiling juz kinda annoyed me by asking me to go and die for no apparent reason..i'm not petty,but one thing i hate most is to be told to 'go and die' orbeing sworn by someone with the infamous f-word..nah..uncouth people..lols..nah,i wont be annoyed for long..=)
hmm..gonna go complete my long overdue biology and chemistry practicals now..heh..take care guyz..
oh,here's a gentle reminder to alan:i know u're bored,but my tagboard's not for u to post crap!!!haha..go ruin someone else's tagboard!!!haha..

.:arghhh:.

2005-05-21T03:24:00.000-07:00

guess what?..

abraham's bored!!!

.:bio test's over:.

2005-05-19T19:44:00.000-07:00

lalala..bio test is finally over at long last..haha..it wasnt as hard as what i had expected..how cool is that,considering i didnt even finish reading the notes..lalala..i'm super happy and super perky now..maybe that's also becuz of all the endorphins from the chocolates i ate this morning..haha..
hmm..i'm still pondering over what karmen said..to stop dropping hints as big as bombs..hmm..
oh,heard that someone managed to squeeze into council..wahaha,woe betide the 30th students' council then..be warned..muahaha..
feeling kinda restless now..i've nth much to say anyway..hmm..
oh,andri's sick..take care dude..
and i'm having a bad tummy ache now..*wince*..

.:terrible day:.

2005-05-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

*sigh*saying that today was a terrible day is simply an understatement..all the homework and tests are draining what is left of my energy..i went to school as good as a zombie today,practically sleeping through every lecture and tutorial..not that i'm very proud of my feat..the only lesson that i didnt fall asleep in was general paper..thanks to karmen's chocolates..the endorphins perked me up..but only temporarily..haha..
headed to plaza singapura to watch 'amityville horror' today..itz been a long time since i caught such a good,horror movie..it wasnt exactly scary,but jeremy kept shutting his eyes and covering his ears..haha..the most revolting part was probably the scene where the jody grabbed the babysitter's hand and forced her finger through the gaping hole in her forehead caused by the gunshot that killed her..the movie was also a tad too short..
while walking past marks and spencer,i decided to get chocolates for my close friends in class..u all know who u are..esp karmen..she's been a really wonderful friend..juz bought the chocs to show my appreciation..=)
jeremy seemed exceptionally quiet today..he was either troubled or depressed..but i somehow got the feeling that he's hiding smth too..thought he said nth's wrong..maybe i'm juz imagining things..
no prize for guessing,i'm really gonna screw bio test tmr..i've only read 26 pages of the notes,not even half of the entire set..sianx..oh well..

.:bored:.

2005-05-16T20:52:00.000-07:00

bleah..i'm bored to tears lar..i havent really been in the mood to do anything constructive..hmm..
being the popular and amiable guy that i am,i've been getting lotsa calls on my hp ..that's no wonder why i've been looking more and more like those furry white bears with black patches around the eyes that people call pandas..haha..
hmm..quite a lot of things happened over the weekends..the fairytale ending i was anticipating kinda turned into a repeat of history itself..haiz..we're all at the receiving end of fate's orders,i guess..or rather,i figured that out after having gone through it myself..once bitten,twice shy,u know..
anyway,i've gtg mug le..dreary as i sounds..but do i have a choice?..sianx..
take care guyz..=)
karmen:thanks for helping me with my project work..
jeremy:thanks for cheering me up..

2005-05-13T21:10:00.000-07:00

wahaha..ellox guyz..itz been donkey years since i updated my blog ehz?..yep..i was kinda bogged down with the avalanching school work,incessant tests and what have u..it kinda sucks big time,but am i in any position to complain?..oh wells..i suppose that's what God has planned for me..i'll take it for now..
in case u're beginning to wonder,nope,i'm not depressed or anything..juz kinda exhausted..i'm still hanging on now..but for how long more?..i dont even dare to think abt it..
yepz..i left school early yesterday after a disastrous econs test..bless me if i even manage to get 5 outta 25 marks for it..it felt kinda like a sledgehammer pulverizing what's little left of my morale..needless to say,i was pretty depressed over it..and for some reason or another,i felt like i had disappointed mr how..haiz..
our class's still pretty much the same..if u even remotely get what i mean..the dull three weeks or so that passed was made less dreary by such memorable lil' things like the mandy-brandy scandal,u-know-who slapping his dear wei han somewhere near his thighsand the traumatising news that u-know-who thinks we're stalking him..gosh..of all people..who in the right frame of mind will stalk him..eww..
many people have been feeling kinda down and out lately..whatever the reason behind it..cheer up okae guyz..there's always a silver lining on every dark cloud..
to all my friends..esp karmen,huiling,irwin:i'll be there for u all!..haha..
and to jeremy:thanks sooo much dude!!..

.:40104:.

2005-04-20T20:07:00.000-07:00

well..it took me bu surprise to see quack and fang you tag on my blog..it just brought back so many fond memories..a treasury of priceless and vivid memories..honestly,i was quite cynical about the class initially when we started out in sec3..but now..i miss all the peepz of 40104 so much!!! aileen the cow..shell the chicken..quack the duck..zhi yuan the gorgeous dude
..well..no prize for guessing..i'm a frog..yep,the frog that turned into a handsome prince!! haha..
this is gonna sound real mushy..but..if anyone of you 40104 peepz are reading this..love ya all!!! rawk on yeah!..

.:falling and falling:.

2005-04-18T20:22:00.000-07:00

i've tried so hard..but it's so difficult to save myself from falling deeper into the abyss of depression and dejection..
does anyone know that behind my vivacious facade lies a lonely heart,one that has been pulverised?..

when i whisper your name,can u hear it?..

when i think of u,can u sense it?..

when i yearn for you,can u feel it?..

i miss you..

i really,really do..

do you even know it?..

.:我难过:.

2005-04-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

*sigh*..guess what?..i'm depressed again..for no apparent rhyme or reason..hmm..well,there is a reason behind it..i juz don't wanna say it out..
i stumbled upon a very nice blog juz now..at first glance,i thought it was a girl's blog..but i actually belonged to a guy..or so i think..yeps..
been mugging almost the whole weekend..revised trigonometry..did some questions on functions,transformation of graphs and inequalities..read through gene inheritance..and did some tys questions on chemical bonding..i was so bored..bored to tears i tell you..but i can't just sit in one corner and collect dust can i?..well,at least i won't be so depressed when i'm immersed in my work..but when i'm done with my work,the sinking feeling of depression creeps in again..
huiling's depressed today as well..hope the advice i dispensed will help..hmm..okae,maybe not help her solve her problem,but at least make her feel better..trust me to play counsellor when i need counselling aplenty myself..
oh well..if i were to save a dollar every time that i'm depressed,i'd have been a millionaire by now..
*sigh*..i'm depressed..again..

.:我难过:.
那一年默默无言只能选择离开
无邪的笑容已经不再精采
你害怕结局所以拼命伤害
说是我挡住你的美好未来

你坚决不希望我等待
我便默默的让你走开
如今你受了伤回来
叫我如何接受这安排

我难过的是
放弃你放弃爱放弃的梦被打碎忍住悲哀
我以为是成全
你却说你更不愉快
我难过的是
忘了你忘了爱尽全力忘记我们真心相爱
也忘了告诉你失去的不能重来

.:title?..u decide:.

2005-04-15T21:39:00.000-07:00

*groans*..my muscles are still aching terribly from yesterday's stupid run..oh well..
teehee..the singing bug bit me again today..i've been singing all day..even while having lessons in school..haha..hey,don't laugh okae..who knows..i might be the next clay aiken..woah..haha..i know u're gonna puke..but it's a fact!!!haha..
hmm..well,economics test was slightly easier than what i had anticipated..but whether i'll get that distinction or not is a totally different issue..failing my maths test by one pathetic mark despite mugging so hard for it is one of the many classic examples of how those elusive distinctions are seldom within my reach..haha..
haiz..it's the weekends..but the tonnes of work lying impatiently on my table will keep me extremely busy again..compounded by all the common tests that are just around the corner..argh..all this stress is making me lose weight..i'll be reduced to bones in no time..just wait and see..haha..
erh..class bonding is still as thorny an issue as ever..well,i shan't care to elaborate or mention names,lest some people think i'm bitching or backstabbing them..those petty,self-centred people..*bleah*..please grow up!!!
ehz..i've posted so many song lyrics on my blog,it looks more like a song lyrics archive..haha..that won't stop me from posting more song lyrics anyway..haha..

.:eight world wonder:.
Woke up early this morning,
Make my coffee like i always do..
Then it hit me from no where,
Everything i feel about me and you..
The way you kiss me crazy,
Baby u're so amazing..

Seven day and seven nights of thunder,
The water's rising and i'm slipping under..
I think i fell in love
With the eight world wonder..
Yeah..

.:爱的就是你 :.

2005-04-14T18:43:00.000-07:00

在爱的幸福国度
你就是我唯一
我唯一爱的就是你
我真的爱的就是你

推动才会懂得珍惜
但我珍惜你
伤愈痛就是爱愈深
我不相信
你和我同时停止呼吸
每一次我们靠近
你让我忘了困惑
忘了所有烦心

我把你紧紧拥在怀里
捧你在我手心
谁教我真的爱的就是你在
爱的纯净世界
你就是我唯一
永远永远不要怀疑
我把你当作我的空气
如此形影不离
我大声说我爱的就是你
在爱的幸福国度
你就是我唯一
我唯一爱的就是你
我真的爱的就你
爱的就是你

.:didn't we almost had it all:.

2005-04-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

.:didn't we almost had it all:.
Remember when we held on in the rain
The nights we almost lost it once again
We can take the night into tomorrow
Living on feelings
Touching you I feel it all again

Didn't we almost have it all
When love was all we had worth giving
The ride with you was worth the fall,my friend
Loving you makes life worth living
Didn't we almost have it all
The nights we held on till the morning
You know you'll never love that way again
Didn't we almost have it all

The way you used to touch me felt so fine
We kept our hearts together down the line
A moment in the soul can last forever
Comfort and keep us
Help me bring the feeling back again

Didn't we almost have it all
When love was all we had worth giving
The ride with you was worth the fall,my friend
Loving you makes life worth living
Didn't we almost have it all
The nights we held on till the morning
You know you'll never love that way again
Didn't we almost have it all

Didn't we have the best of times
When love was young and new
Couldn't we reach inside and find
The world of me and you
We'll never lose it again
Cause once you know what love is
You never let it end

Didn't we almost have it all
When love was all we had worth giving
The ride with you was worth the fall,my friend
Loving you makes life worth living
Didn't we almost have it all
The nights we held on till the morning
You know you'll never love that way again
Didn't we almost have it all

.:do you have a little time:.

2005-04-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

.:do you have a little time:.
If you're feeling low and lost today,
You're probably doing too much again..
You spend all your hours just rushing around,
Do you have a little time,
Do you have a little time for me?
Slow down my love you're confusing me..
If you're feeling stressed just try calling..
You spend your time waiting for anyone to see..
Do you have a little time,
Do you have a little time for me?
If you should stop for a while,
You will find me standing by,
Over here at the side of your life..
I'd like to hold you still, remind you of all you've missed..
If you have a little time,
If you have a little time that is..
Why do you still run when you could walk with me..
Life will pass you by when you move as quickly..
What can you see when you're spinning around..
Do you have a little time,
Do you have a little time for me..
If you should stop for a while,
You will find me standing by,
Over here at the side of your life..
I like to hold you still, remind you of all you've missed..
If you have a little time,
If you have a little time that is..
If you let me listen ,
I'll make you feel clear..
You spend your time waiting for anyone to see..
If you should stop for a while,
You will find me standing by,
Over here at the side of your life..
I'd like to hold you still, remind you of all you've missed..
If you have a little time,
If you have a little time that is..
If you should stop for a while,
You will find me standing by,
Over here at the side of your life..
I'd like to hold you still, remind you of all you've missed..
If you have a little time,
If you have a little time that is..

.:horoscopes are satanic!!!:.

2005-04-12T21:04:00.000-07:00

hmm..my horoscope has been pretty darn true for the last few days or so..it's not that i believe in it wholeheartedly or that i'm obsessed with it..but it can't just be mere coincidence right?..hmm..anyway..beinbg a christian,i'm not supposed to believe in it..it's satanic..haha..
*sigh*..general paper homework..anderson's promotional paper..yucks..i lead such a dreary life..haha..
umm..as usual,i've been anticipating someone to sms me..as usual,it never came..forget it lar..

.:翅膀:.

2005-04-12T20:56:00.000-07:00

同样的机场
不同世界
同样的咖啡
不同味觉
同样的我和我
都少了一些
看飞机划过天空
不见了

用你给我的翅膀飞
我懂这不是伤悲
再高都不会累
我们都说好了
用你给我的翅膀飞
我感觉己够安慰
乌云也不再多
我们也不为谁掉眼泪

空气中?着
你的香味
回忆里躲着
你的眼泪
最后拥抱的
温暖还有一些
我拖着行李往前
一直走
看一看回忆
是云朵
一朵朵的飘过
若想要回头
就无法傲翔

用你给我的翅膀飞
我懂这不是伤悲
再高都不会累
我们都说好了
用你给我的翅膀飞
我感觉己够安慰
乌云也不再多
我们也不为谁掉眼泪

.:always you and i:.

2005-04-12T20:45:00.000-07:00

It's so hard to say,
How a love could end this way..
The one that used to care for you
Just turns and walks away..
And it's so hard to find,
To leave the pain behind..
When all the things u're looking for,
Your heart can't seem to find..

.:it all came rushing back to me at once:.

2005-04-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

.:angels brought me here:.
Ooohh
It's been a long and winding journey
But I'm finally here tonight
Picking upthe pieces
And walking back into the light
Into the sunset of the glory
Where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling
When I look into your eyes

My dreams came true
When I found youI found you
My miracle

If you could see
What I see
That you're the answer to my prayers
Oooh if you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That Angels Brought Me Here

Standing here before you
Feels like i've been born again
Every breath is your love
Every heartbeat speaks your name

My dreams came true
Right here in front you
My miracle

If you could see
What I see
That you're the answer to my prayers
Oooh if you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That Angels Brought Me Here

For me to be with youI'd be forever grateful
Ohhhhh forever faithful

My dreams came true
When I found you
My miracle

If you could see
What I see
That you're the answer to my prayers
Oooh if you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That Angels Brought Me Here

.:cradle:.
I will rock you like a baby,
I will,cradled in my arms,
I will keep you safe from danger,
Shelter you from harm...
There will never be another lover,
Who treats you like I do,
We can drift into forever,
On a love thats made for two...

Dont you ever say this love's not special,
Dont you ever think its not essential...
Baby...

I was only thinkin of you,
Hopin you were thinkin of me,
Two hearts beating just like one,
Against the world...
Baby...I am always dreamin of you,
Hopin you are dreamin of me,
I could never live one
Day without your love...

I will kiss you like an angel, baby,
Cradled in my wings,I
will take you up to heaven,
Show you precious things...
If you promise that you love me,
If you promise that you care,
I will be here for you always and forever this I swear...

Dont you ever say this love's not special,
Dont you ever think its not essential...
Baby...

I was only thinkin of you,
Hopin you were thinkin of me,
Two hearts beating just like one,
Against the world...
Baby...I am always dreamin of you,
Hopin you are dreamin of me,
I could never live one
Day without your love...

Though you say you want a love,
But you dont think you believe it,
Just open up your heart,
And you know you will recieve it...
Oh baby...Baby...
Dont you ever say this loves not special,
Dont you ever think its not essential...
Baby...

I was only thinkin of you,
Hopin you were thinkin of me,
Two hearts beating just like one,
Against the world...
Baby...I am always dreamin of you,
Hopin you are dreamin of me,
I could never live one
Day without your love...

and the song that brings back the most memories..if u're reading,u'll definitely know what i mean..*sigh*..

.:amazed:.
Everytime our eyes meet,
This feeling inside me,
Is almost more than I can take..
Baby when you touch me,
I can feel how much you love me,
And it just blows me away..

I've never been this close ,
To anyone or anything..
I can hear your thoughts,
I can see your dreams..

I don't know how you do what you do,
I'm so in love with you,
It just keeps getting better..
I wanna spend the rest of my life,
With you by my side,
Forever and ever..
Every little thing that you do,
Baby I'm amazed by you..

The smell of your skin,
The taste of your kiss,
The way you whisper in the dark..
Your hair all around me,
Baby you surround me,
You touch every place in my heart..

Oh it feels like the first time, everytime..
I wanna spend the whole night,
In your eyes..

Every little thing that you do,
I'm so in love with you,
It just keeps getting better..
I wanna spend the rest of my life,
With you by my side,
Forever and ever..
Every little thing that you do,
Baby I'm amazed by you..

.:for the longest time:.

2005-04-11T21:15:00.000-07:00

hmm..i think i'm having my menopause..haha..either that,or i'm losing my sanity fast..i've been having mood swings in the last week or so..hmm..haha..
well..it's been only eight days..but it seems apparent to me that i've slipped into oblivion..those seemingly curt sms replies..hmm..i'd prefer to think that i'm simply letting my fertile imagination get the better of me..but still,the possibility that i'm gradually being permanently sealed from someone's mind dawned upon me,as much as i tried to resist it..oh wells..

boring day in school..again..it's almost a routine..maths test wasn't exactly difficult..but it wasn't easy either..genetic inheritance is supposedly a fun topic..but i'm perpetually dozing off during the lectures..*sigh*..that translates into a hell lot of catching up to do..when common tests are over..argh..

Wo-o-o-oh for the longest time
If you say goodbye to me tonight
There would be still music left to write
What else could I do
I'm so inspired by you
That hasn't happened for the longest time
Once I know my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
That's where you found me
When you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time
I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall
And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you
And how you needed me too
That hasn't happened for the longest time
Maybe this won't last very long
But you feel so right
I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far and that's more than I hoped for
Who knows how much further we'll go on
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances
I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time
I have second thoughts at the start
I said to myself: 'Hold on to your heart'
Now I know the woman that you are
You're wonderful so far and that's more than I hoped for
I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time

yeps..love this song..first heard it on American Idol..haha..

.:thirteen hours..and still counting:.

2005-04-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

*sigh*..last message received at 08:37:00..and its 21:37:00..thirteen hours have officially passed since my handphone vibrated..thirteen gruelling hours,mind you..i wait in anticipation,the disappointment just continues to overwhelm and suffocate me..u'll treat me like a special friend?..it seems to me that i've slipped into oblivion in a matter of days..seven days,to be exact..special..meaning invisible?..*sigh*..i guess that's as good as it can get..

.:sigh:.

2005-04-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

well..five days have passed at breakneck speed..the painful truth has etched itself permanently on my feeble and overwhelmed mind..and all i can do is let it torment and manipulate me..i ask:what can i do to alleviate this heartwretch?..nothing,cuz i am at the receiving end of what fate has planned for me..in case u're worried,i wont mutilate him with a chopper,as much as i want to..

.:how do i live:.

2005-04-07T20:49:00.000-07:00

..:how do i live:..
*sigh*..time heals all wounds..i cant dictate ur judgement of that statement,but to me,its juz an unfounded myth that people cooked up to seek solace in and to give themselves a false sense of hope..*sigh*..

dont cry out loud..
juz keep it inside,
oh learn how to hide your feelings..
dont cry out loud..
if you should fall,
remember u almost had it all..

''dont cry out loud'' by melissa manchester..as always,holding back ur trears is easier said than done..even though u've always thought of urself as a tough cookie..the bottomline:guys do cry too..*sigh*

How do i,
Get through the night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Oh, I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You’re my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,
And tell me now..

How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do i, how do i, oh how do I live?

Without you,
There’d be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There’d be no world left for me.
And i,
Baby I don’t know what I would do,
I’d be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,
And tell me now,

How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do i, how do i, oh how do I live?

Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything,
I need you with me,
Baby don’t you know that you’re everything,
Real in my life?

And tell me now,
How do I live without you,
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do i, how do i, oh how do I live?
How do I live without you?

How do I live without you baby?

a heartrending song by leean rimes..the burning question in my heart:how do i live without you?..*sigh*..

.:against all odds:.

2005-04-06T20:36:00.000-07:00

How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace..
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh..
You’re the only one who really knew me at all..
How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave..
Cos we’ve shared the laughter and the pain,and even shared the tears..
You’re the only one who really knew me at all..

So take a look at me now,
Oh there’s just an empty space..
There’s nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face..
So take a look at me now,
There’s just an empty space..
And you coming back to me,
Is against all odds and that’s what I’ve got to face..

I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry..
There’s so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why..
You’re the only one who really knew me at all..

So take a look at me now,
Oh there’s just an empty space..
There’s nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face..
So take a look at me now,
There’s just an empty space..
But to wait for you,
Is all I can do,
And that’s what I’ve got to face..

Take a good look at me now,
Cos I’ll still be standing here..
And you coming back to me,
Is against all odds..
It’s the chance I’ve gotta take..

Take a look at me now..

.:does love really have to hurt to feel good:.

2005-04-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

*sigh*..how do i live without u?..this is never easy..in any case,my arms will always be wide open,but when will u come running back into my embrace?..then again,will u ever?..i always thought that i'd be immuned to such excriciating pain..*sigh*..now i know that was just wishful and naive thinking on my part..no matter what,a part of u will always be with me..now and forever..*sigh*..love doesnt have to hurt to feel good..or does it?..

.:bleah:.

2005-03-20T12:22:00.000-08:00

*phew*i never knew that creating a blog was such a mammoth task..but being the intellectually-abled person that i am..i finally breathed life into this blog u're reading now..dont i deserve at least a standing ovation?..hehe..i cant believe i'm spending time doing this..when there's a stack of gp notes lying in some dusty corner of my room waiting for me to digest n assimilate..i cant really be bothered..haha..school's starting tmr..*groans*and the vicious cycle of accumulating homework n incessant tests and exams strats all over again..*bleah*..i lead such a dreary life..*sigh*..=)

.:my legacy:.

.:obama or mccain:.

.:praying for time:.

.:lawrence the imbecile:.

.:randomness:.

.:knowledge vs wisdom:.

.:diabolical cyst:.

.:her prerogative:.

.:he or she:.

.:fascination:.

.:jingle bell jingle bell:.

.:whenever u remember:.

.:all or nothin:.

.:rhapsody of love:.

.:subsidiary:.

.:u'll never walk alone:.

.:whenever u remember:.

.:actors of our own show:.

.:ohh,happy day:.

.:stronger than yesterday:.

.:moi birthday:.

.:livin to love you:.

.:my mummy's birthday:.

.:my mummy's birthday:.

.:bitchin,rantin,clappin:.

.:my loneliness,but aint my loss:.

.:ur fuckin friend:.

.:experience:.

.:it's way too late:.

.:va va voom:.

.:cuz they screwed up:.

.:good mornin,mr lim:.

*rolls my eyes*

.:miserable midget:.

.:to my dearest dan****:.

.:acs idol:.

.:how far:.

.:my new baby:.

.:have u eva loved somebody who never knew:.

.:when i pray on my bended knees:.

.:sick:.

.:beezee beezee day:.

.:fuck u:.

.:total eclipse of the heart:.

.:broken again:.

.:reconcilation:.

.:liberation:.

.:burppp:.

.:rawrrr:.

.:inside your heaven:.

.:sleepin,and never wakin:.

.:torment.exhaustion:.

.:incy wincy spider:.

.:yabadabadoo:.

.:i've got the music in me:.

.:and crumblin:.

.:crumblin:.

.:reflection:.

.:sobz:.

.:rA--nO peEpz bElOw 21 allOwEd:.

.:wHeN disAppOiNmeNt sets iN:.

.:battle of wits:.

.:hols':.

.:wootz:.

.:music of my heart:.

.:anywhere for you:.

.:we rawk:.

.:i love meimei:.

.:all about loving you:.

.:once an ascian,always an acsian:.

.:time:.

.:arghhh:.

.:bio test's over:.

.:terrible day:.

.:bored:.

.:40104:.

.:falling and falling:.

.:我难过:.

.:title?..u decide:.

.:爱的就是你 :.

rolls my eyes