Wednesday, August 17, 2005
sigh..sayin that i'm stressed right now is an understatement..ironic as it sounds,but my life has taken a toll on itself..
fever,headaches and a viral throat infection hit me with a vengeance over the last couple of days..i've lost count of how many times i've been down and out due to sickness this year..hmm..didnt quite believe that loh chean meng actually sorta turned a blind eye when i was sleepin durin pccg period..hmm..thought that he'd poke me awake..
trudgin to the bus stop on my way home,those issues that have been weighin me down juz flooded my lethargic mind again..could have cried and collapsed,but i held on..
for the umpteenth time this year,i contemplated suicide again..i'm juz tired of living this life,a life thats fraught with danger,brimmin with obstacles,one that leads u on an extreme emotional rollercoaster ride..i'm tired,really tired,and i havent been more fervent all my life than this time in hopin to breakaway from the acute disappoinment and depression that have been hot on my heels like shawdows,once and for all..life's all about seekin happiness,but i havent found mine..do i have one in the first place?..from the looks of it,i seriously doubt so..
okae,tears are wellin up in my eyes now as i'm typin this..sigh..
i've had a hard childhood,bein brought up in the environment i was brought up in..now i know that thoughts of me being emotionally and mentally tough were juz naive thinkin on my part..
i've never questioned the prupose of life,but i have to now..if i was born to shoulder all these on my skinny frame,then i'd rather not have stepped into this world..
gonna sleep now..will i wake up?..i hope never..
fever,headaches and a viral throat infection hit me with a vengeance over the last couple of days..i've lost count of how many times i've been down and out due to sickness this year..hmm..didnt quite believe that loh chean meng actually sorta turned a blind eye when i was sleepin durin pccg period..hmm..thought that he'd poke me awake..
trudgin to the bus stop on my way home,those issues that have been weighin me down juz flooded my lethargic mind again..could have cried and collapsed,but i held on..
for the umpteenth time this year,i contemplated suicide again..i'm juz tired of living this life,a life thats fraught with danger,brimmin with obstacles,one that leads u on an extreme emotional rollercoaster ride..i'm tired,really tired,and i havent been more fervent all my life than this time in hopin to breakaway from the acute disappoinment and depression that have been hot on my heels like shawdows,once and for all..life's all about seekin happiness,but i havent found mine..do i have one in the first place?..from the looks of it,i seriously doubt so..
okae,tears are wellin up in my eyes now as i'm typin this..sigh..
i've had a hard childhood,bein brought up in the environment i was brought up in..now i know that thoughts of me being emotionally and mentally tough were juz naive thinkin on my part..
i've never questioned the prupose of life,but i have to now..if i was born to shoulder all these on my skinny frame,then i'd rather not have stepped into this world..
gonna sleep now..will i wake up?..i hope never..